[INTERVIEW] Kim Jae-uck - Part 1

Kim Jae-uck [Lee Jin-hyuk/10Asia]

A 183 centimeter-tall man, no, woman, looks down on the audience. Everytime she throws off her fancy clothes and high heels and wig, a body formed of strong bones and muscle emerges and the moment he rubs the tomato mashed onto his chest, she fills up the space with madness and fury. Kim Jae-uck, playing Hedwig who is a transgender rock singer from East Berlin in musical "Hedwig and the Angry Inch," creates something beyond the Hedwig we already know of. And he is referred to as 'The Most Stylish Hedwig' but what is overwhelming is not just his looks. "Hedwig" producer Lee Jina said Kim's acting is "soft and quiet yet contains a frantic devilishness at the end," in how he starts with a grin that seems as if he has resigned himself to everything, then at times shows the dignity of a queen as well as the childishness of a young rock star and in the end, like a fierce tigress, looks ready to rip the world apart. Surely, he is living on the same planet as us but everytime, he seems like someone from another world. Below is 10Asia's interview with Kim.

10: How are you spending your time these days?
Kim Jae-uck: There's nothing outside of "Hedwig and the Angry Inch." Nothing else.

10: We were surprised when you were first cast for the show because you fit the role so well. Had you been asked to join the show before as well too?
Kim: Yes, I think it was in 2009. I have a friend who always does the stage production work for my fan meetings or concerts and he tried to tempt me into doing "Hedwig." But my band Walrus was more important to me at the time because we were preparing to perform at the Grand Mint Festival. And I had actually never watched the musical version of "Hedwig" before because I watched the movie first and I had liked it a lot.

10: When did you watch it as a movie?
Kim: Maybe around 2002? I went to the theaters to watch it when it opened in Korea because people around me were telling me it was a fun movie and I just fell in love with it. It satisfied all the things I was into and liked at the time, and which I still am into and like by the way. Its music, art, story and characters were all so attractive that I said, "This really is a great movie." And then I heard they'll turn it into a musical in Korea so I told myself that I'd never watch it but... (laugh) It's ironical, isn't it? Since I'm actually in it now.

10: So how did you feel when "Hedwig" came back to you this year?
Kim: That I should do it now. And if I will, I might as well do it while I'm in my twenties. (laugh) I knew that I'd end up doing it so I couldn't run away from it anymore. I'd actually been preparing to release my band's next album but even my band's members said, "Isn't it better if you do it now? We're going to go a long way anyway." Our drummer Kim Tae-hyun played the Angry Inch for season three of the musical and our bassist Si-on will join me for this season's.

10: So what did you have in your mind for the musical right after you were cast for it?
Kim: I wanted to play the real Hedwig. The character that John Cameron Mitchell played in the movie, the character I saw in it, so I guess you could say that I wanted to imitate him. Hence I started by focusing on reenacting him as perfectly as I could but my hopes shattered the moment I got the script for it. It was going to be impossible because of the huge difference in language and extensity. So the Hedwig I recreated and the Hedwig I'm acting now are different. Producer Lee Jina said I'd play him differently once I met with the audience and she was right.

10: What do you think has become the most different?
Kim: I don't know what other people think. But for me, it feels like I'm not playing Hedwig but just a transgender with the same name, story and life as him. To start with, I'm not a Caucasian and from a different culture. So it may be that I don't have the acting skills to overcome those differences but it just seems like it doesn't make sense. There's a line where I say, "From East Berlin..." but I myself act thinking that I'm an Asian woman.

10: Well, with most created productions, you need to go into them after acknowledging the various differences there are between the actor and the character. But has that been more difficult to do because this is "Hedwig" or do you just in general feel uncomfortable with such physical gaps?
Kim: I like acting without there being that gap if possible because I'd like to be able to deliver my character's sincerity to others better. Of course, if I immersed myself into the show completely, I could look like an African-American if I try to be one but I just don't think I'm that type of actor. Nor do I want to be like that right now.

10: Well I'm sure you've thought that you've lacked in certain ways since you're a stranger to musicals but if there's one thing that you still want to do well at, what is that?
Kim: Hmm, I haven't thought that I lack in any way. I might've thought it if I was working on a different musical but I haven't thought that I'm not good enough for "Hedwig." It's just that I was sure of what I wanted to express but it isn't coming out the way I wanted it to. I really wanted to put the audience to sleep of them to feel very uncomfortable. Because the moment that Hedwig appears, they all cheer but who in our country would actually be so friendly to transgenders before they get to know them? They actually feel very uncomfortable around them so it doesn't make sense. That's why I wanted people to realize who Hedwig is when he sings "Midnight Radio" in the middle of the show, but up till then, be in pain from having to watch him. I also wanted people to walk out on me. And that's why I was much more unfriendly for rehearsals and did no ad-libs but I couldn't help but change once I stood in front of the audience. I guess it's because I'm so used to being someone that is always doing something for people.

10: You said unfriendly. Is that why is seems like you're quietly talking to yourself rather talking to the audience?
Kim: Yes. I'm under the mindset of 'listen to me if you want to and don't if you don't want to.' I'd want to make them feel more pain if they're listening to me, be thankful if they fall asleep and think, 'Yes, I'm sure you're bored,' if they look bored. That's why at first, I wanted people not to be able to hear me clearly yet ironically, I wanted everyone to feel that I'm talking to each of them one on one. I think that for me, it was most important that I make this seem like a standup show, rather than a musical, in which Hedwig talks about himself. Lee Jina and I changed my script a lot after the first week of the musical's run. I think I'll go by that script starting in early June. And in it, we got rid of Hedwig and created a completely new character.

10: If you're handed a character that is very different from you or seems incomplete, are you the type that tends to make it complete with the people you work with?
Kim: I think I try to have a lot of conversations. The good thing is that the producer's house is very close to my house so we met often even when there weren't rehearsals and we talked about the production a lot. Actor Cho Seung-woo did the first season of the musical in 2005 and that's when everybody tried their best to reenact the original Hedwig but now, they're trying to let go of that. In that sense, I'm lucky in terms of timing.

10: Are you not scared of making people feel uncomfortable or having people dislike you? It's hard to bear the thought of someone hating you although you may not like everyone.
Kim: I used to be. But I let go of it at one point. There are so many rules to living in this world, although they might've not been said. That... I didn't like. I wanted to free myself from all that so I told myself I'll live the way I am because I want to be happy.

10: Well usually, people are scared of falling due to aberrant behavior after climbing to a certain point. So is it that you think you haven't climbed up to a certain level yet or are you just not afraid of falling?
Kim: I think it's both. And I think I freed myself the moment I started thinking I need to live life the way I'm living it right now to stay happy. I watched a bit of cable music channel Mnet's "Launch My Life" starring Yoo A-in and that was the Yoo A-in I know. I thought of a lot of things while watching it. I probably wouldn't go on such a show but I did get some vicarious satisfaction out of it.

10: What I thought while watching him is that there's probably something he lost in material terms by revealing his true self and not being friendly on purpose.
Kim: There's probably a lot. And A-in probably appeared in the show knowing that. So in that sense, it seems like he was more desperate than me to show who he really is.

10: Well, after your film "Antique," you gained a very strong image of being gay. And in Korea, people put a lot of meaning into that term and continue to mention it when it comes to celebrities so I think you could've thought that taking on the role of a transgender for "Hedwig" could have been risky for you. Had you thought about this?
Kim: I didn't. It's kind of fun now. (laugh) Over time, I've come to enjoy that such a rumor is circulating and that some are even convinced of it. But it's not like I won't be able to play masculine roles anymore. Those who see potential in me will hand me roles.

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Reporter : Choi Ji-Eun five@, Jang Kyung-Jin three@
Photographer : Lee Jin-hyuk eleven@
Editor : Jessica Kim jesskim@, Lee Ji-Hye seven@