As Conflict Over Mother-in-Law's Caregivers Grows... Husband Says, "Your Mother Left Early to Care for Her"

Woman in conflict over request to care for mother-in-law
"I am a man and my younger sister cannot because she must take a leave"

A story of a woman who experienced conflict over her husband's request to care for his mother-in-law as a fellow woman has been shared. On the 17th, a post titled 'Who takes care of the mother-in-law?' was uploaded on an online community. The author, Ms. A, said, "My mother-in-law suddenly fell ill and requires a 24-hour caregiver, but I argued with my husband over the caregiving issue."

The photo is not related to any specific expression in the article. [Image source=Getty Images Bank]

Office worker Ms. A said, "My self-employed husband suggested caregiving, asking if it was possible to leave work early during my mother-in-law's hospital stay. When I said, 'I'll visit after work, so let's hire a caregiver,' my husband felt hurt." According to Ms. A, her husband persuaded her by saying, "When your mother was sick, I left work early to take care of her," and "Since your mother is a woman, it's better if I take care of her."

Ms. A said, "Before our wedding, we found a house and lived together, and at that time, my mother was hospitalized for a month." She added, "When she couldn't move, I was allowed to leave work early by my company and took turns caring for her with my family for 12 hours, and that's what my husband was referring to." She continued, "It was so hard that I barely managed with IV drips, but my then-fianc? husband never saw my mother's face or called her. He only came when she was discharged."

She expressed her concern, saying, "There are three family members on my husband's side?father-in-law, husband, and younger brother-in-law?who can take care of her, so I don't understand why I have to do it." Regarding this, her husband blamed her, saying, "We are all men, and my sister works, so she would have to take a leave of absence. My father and I are self-employed and have to work during specific hours, so why are you trying to fight?"

Ms. A asked, "Since I am the daughter-in-law, is caregiving natural? And since my husband was the fianc?, is it okay for him not to take care? Do I have to care for my mother-in-law as much as I did for my own mother?"

Netizens who read the story comforted Ms. A. Comments included, "The first priority for caregiving should be the father-in-law, then the children," "If the situation doesn't allow, a caregiver should be hired; I don't understand why caregiving by the daughter-in-law is taken for granted," and "Why does gender matter when it's your own mother?"

In response, Ms. A wrote an additional post, saying, "I visited my mother-in-law yesterday," and "I apologized for not being able to care for her and told her to get well soon." She also added, "When my mother was hospitalized, even though we had insurance for a caregiver, we decided to care for her ourselves without regrets," and "When I told my husband this, he said he would try to do it himself."