[Book Sip] Writes, Acts, Writes... Actor Yoo Junsang's Record

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“Actors must keep a journal.” Yoo Junsang began writing a journal after hearing this one line from his professor during his first-year university acting class. He included everything from brief comments on acting classes to his philosophy, fears, and happiness about being an actor, reflections on the stage, and insights gained from daily life and travels. From the 1,500 pages of actor’s journals he has written since 2015, he curated writings that best reveal 'Actor Yoo Junsang.'

What is it? Why does my heart stir wildly when I wake up at dawn? At some point, I stopped acting unless my heart was moved. In other words, if I cannot persuade myself, I cannot act. The attitude I have in daily life began to apply to acting as well. If I am not convinced, I cannot perform. That has shaped my acting method. Beautiful and painful confessions create a sensitive yet solid core. Eyes, speech, gestures that are never carelessly done... They torment me but at the same time bring life to me and my acting. - From "The Way I Am Made"

Writing a journal was not something to be finished in just a year or two. By the time I realized that it must be done consistently over a very long time, my eyesight had worsened, my back hurt more, and my knees were not good, but the belief that journaling and repetitive training were my lifeline became clearer. If I hadn’t kept a journal, my life wouldn’t have been imprinted so vividly. - From "Life and Acting Go Together"

When I see someone giving an impressive performance, I become curious about their life. After all, life and acting go hand in hand, so living well with good thoughts reflects well in acting. Therefore, acting makes me reflect on myself, awaken myself, rediscover the self that cannot be awakened even when trying, and yet constantly strive to awaken again. - From "Life and Acting Go Together"

During the musical Robin Hood, I was struck on the forehead by a fellow actor’s sword during a fight scene. I felt my face burning and kept wiping the blood while acting. I don’t even know how I finished the first act. During intermission, I rushed to a plastic surgery clinic on the 10th floor of the theater building. There was no time for anesthesia, so they stitched ten stitches without it. Then back to the second act! My singing improved and my focus sharpened. It was a freedom I had never felt on stage before. I immersed myself more and found a new strength. It was a moment that reinforced my mental strength once again. I finished the performance as if nothing had happened. Sighs of relief and cheers of encouragement mixed as I stepped off the stage. Though injured, it became another good memory. - From "Another Kind of Freedom"

Today’s performance flow was really good. I feel the training of my voice is gradually being perfected. Being able to manage my voice through performances is important. Endless effort will surely be rewarded at some point, never forget that. And you must realize that being at the top is not that important. Doing your best every moment and enjoying each moment?that is the most important mindset at this point as I grow one year older. Now, as I greet the afternoon, good sunlight wraps around my body.

- From "Those Who Enjoy Ultimately Remain"

Even though I have been on stage so many times and practiced so much, when I forget the lyrics or perform worse than I practiced, it’s terrifying. Nothing is scarier than that. The stage is a fierce arena of life. When I run comfortably on stage, I am full of confidence and energy, thinking all upcoming performances will go well. On days when it’s not like that, I feel so anxious... Yet I have to overcome it. I scold myself, blame myself, and practice countless times again. There is no other way... In the end, I have to control myself, encourage myself, and get it done. I have to be strong-minded. - From "The Stage Is Life"

In the end, you have to endure. Only by enduring can you receive both criticism and praise and earn money. Enduring means you can keep doing something. Even if there are no results, if you are creating something, you are not falling behind. It’s just hard because you have to think of new ideas within what you are already doing. Enduring while doing something means you are doing that work very well right now. Of course, anxious feelings come. Am I doing this right? How long can I endure? Such thoughts come frequently. But the interesting thing is, if you look closely, it’s because of that anxiety that we keep living. We are all the same. - From "If You Are Enduring, You Are Doing Well"

“I think I understand now,” I said years ago, and even now I say I think I understand now. Probably after the same amount of time passes again, I will say I think I understand now, and I see that as proof that I am continuously improving. I believe I can say that because I have trained consistently. Without effort, there would be no knowledge, so I tell myself to make my acting, tennis, and life more diligently and to run for myself. Let’s cheer up again.

- From "Tennis"

The stage grants boldness in proportion to preparation. The process of overcoming each time is not easy. As time passes, it sometimes brings greater pain and sometimes approaches with a fresh feeling. Freshness is better than pain. Yes! Today, too, for that freshness, I step onto the stage with a ‘whatever happens, happens’ mindset. - From "Beetlejuice 12th Performance"

Thirty minutes before going on stage, I felt breathless. ‘Why is this? Did I climb up and down the stairs too much?’ After the fighting call, I sought calmness and sat on the stairs on stage, carefully picturing today’s scenes one by one. Thinking of one scene reminded me of another, and thinking of that scene reminded me of yet another, many times over. Finally, the overture signaling the start of the performance played, and I took my place. Then I let my body follow the music and danced. The curtain rose, and I calmly adjusted the pace and tempo, exchanging cues with fellow actors and performed joyfully. After the first act, I clenched my fist. ‘Yes, all the effort was not in vain. I have to do it again!’ With that mindset, I began the second act. I finished the second act either enjoying it or nervously. It was refreshing. - From "Performance Journal"

Running for Myself | Written by Yoo Junsang | Suo Seojae | 256 pages | 17,800 KRW