Lee Ji-seon "I Have Parted Well with the Accident... Now I Want to Hear 'It's Fun'" [Seo Mideum's Book Talk]

Photo by Lee Ji-seon

[Asia Economy Reporter Seo Mideum] July 30, 2000. Twenty-three-year-old Lee Jiseon suffered third-degree burns over 55% of her body due to a rear-end collision caused by a drunk driver. Although the medical staff were pessimistic, she narrowly escaped death. She was hospitalized for seven months and underwent more than forty surgeries.

More than 20 years have passed since she ‘met’ the accident. Lee Jiseon captured her second life in an essay titled Quite a Decent Happy Ending (Munhakdongne). Its tone is completely different from her 2003 book Jiseon, I Love You. Twenty years ago, she was a survivor who had reconciled with the accident. Now, she is someone who has parted well with despair. She teaches students at Handong Global University. She describes herself as having “transformed from a 20-something who could get away with acting cute to a mid-40s person who looks better being dignified.”

What did she want to say by writing a book again? When we met last month on the 26th at a cafe near Olympic Park, she smiled and said, “I’m glad I survived. Rather than being seen pitifully, I hope people react with, ‘Oh, this person actually has a sense of humor.’”

- You published your second book after 20 years.

▲ I received great love for Jiseon, I Love You. It was a diary-like writing on my homepage. The process of publishing it as a book and gaining attention felt like a miracle. This time, I deliberately wrote the pieces I wanted to include in the book. I feel proud and pleased thinking, ‘I actually wrote something like this.’ Although the response wasn’t explosive, quite a few people read it diligently. I find it fun to read reviews on social media where people reinterpret my life.

- How is it different from when you published your first book?

▲ With Jiseon, I Love You, I wanted to share my daily life. But because it was a difficult situation, it seemed to evoke quite a few tears. I heard that many people closed the book without finishing because it was too sad. I don’t want to make people cry. I hope readers find this book enjoyable. It’s not a tearjerker but a story about someone living an extraordinary yet ordinary life. It’s about parting with bad things...

- The title Quite a Decent Happy Ending is striking.

▲ It’s the message that runs through what I want to say. Some might criticize, “You’re still in your 40s, why talk about an ‘ending’?” but it best reflects my current attitude toward life. Often, unwelcome events in daily life end in a happy ending after many twists and turns.

- You said you ‘met’ the accident rather than ‘suffered’ it.

▲ ‘Suffered’ is the accurate expression, but after writing and talking about the accident for about two years, that phrase felt uncomfortable. I didn’t want to live as a victim. Every time I said ‘suffered,’ it felt like I was being defined as a victim. I’m not living as a victim. My heart is full of good gifts. The result of suffering is loss, but the result of meeting is parting. Some people cautiously ask about the accident and pain, but I’m fine. I have digested it well and it doesn’t hurt or trouble me. I have parted well through a series of processes.

- You suggested ‘rewriting’ as an effective way to heal trauma. Is your life being rewritten as you wished?

▲ I realized that not every life flows as desired. Perhaps the most perfect happy ending that I and those around me wanted was for all wounds to heal and to return to the pre-accident state, but even if it didn’t turn out that way, I believe my life is heading toward a ‘quite decent happy ending.’ In fact, rewriting was quite a spiritual interpretation for me. God helped me part well with the accident and become a new work. That’s why I decided not to use the word ‘victim.’ But it’s something anyone can do without relying on faith.

- Are there any difficulties?

▲ There aren’t major difficulties. My hand is a bit uncomfortable but I’ve gotten used to it. The same goes for standing on the university podium. I’m enduring while waiting for my sabbatical year (a year off every seven years) (laughs). Of course, the time my family sacrificed and worried because of me cannot be offset. That’s a bit...

- Do you have a blueprint you want to rewrite?

▲ I’m preparing a YouTube broadcast, and the top candidate for the channel name is ‘Ijigoing (easy going).’ It means going easy, carefree, and comfortable. Because I went through a big ordeal, many misunderstand that I must be strong and extraordinary. I live very ordinarily. I want to be remembered that way.

- You are emerging as a role model who succeeded in ‘rewriting’ life along with disability. I heard you receive many contacts from the political sphere.

▲ Sometimes I’m asked ‘Googyeon’ (a Korean term meaning ‘high regard’) expecting me to give hope and aspiration to young people whose lives are frustrated. There may be intentions to use or consume my specific image. People often think I must contemplate or philosophize deeply about life, but that’s not the case. When someone asks seriously, I worry they might find out ‘I’m not someone who lives that complicatedly’ (laughs).

- You expressed concerns about comparative happiness. Even unintentionally, lack of understanding about others’ wounds can cause further hurt.

▲ Everyone wants to avoid making mistakes. Because of that, people hesitate to become friends or neighbors with disabled people. They don’t want to hurt them unintentionally. Overcoming that is important. You have to experience it directly and become friends. I hope disabled people are not separated or excluded. Everyone wants to hide their flaws, but disabled people often suffer because theirs are visible. It’s important to meet as person to person. The person with a disability also needs an open mind to think, ‘They might act that way because they don’t know better.’

- You must have received countless comforts. What warm words or actions personally gave you the most strength?

▲ Even if just for a moment, helping me forget (the difficult situation) was it. Listening to my story was appreciated and necessary, but looking back, I liked people who didn’t treat me as an object of pity or sympathy. I remember friends and aunts. I had no choice but to receive help, but they didn’t treat me like a child. That time was a great comfort. I think those people helped me rewrite. ‘You’re not a patient. You’re my beloved niece and friend.’

- You said, “Wounds and trauma are like two sides of the same coin, bringing stress but also good things.”

▲ Through the realization ‘I am a fragile being,’ I came to appreciate the value of time and relationships anew. I feel a much stronger happiness than before. I enjoy great joy in relationships where priorities are organized. Sharing that gives me new energy. The result of pain cannot be offset, but if life must continue, I hope people adopt such an attitude. Let’s not be discouraged (laughs).

- Even if it’s not something grand, you must have your own life goals.

▲ So much help made me live again. Knowing the importance and energy of such roles, I want to be someone who gives energy even in small things. Through the Purumi Foundation, I have met people with developmental disabilities who live ordinary lives while engaging in economic activities. I work on interpreting and researching how their lives contribute to society and leave evidence-based results. I also work with ‘Seum,’ a group that helps children with incarcerated parents. We think and research how they can grow up safely without bearing the sins of adults.

- We met again through your second book. What activities can we expect from you in the future?

▲ As I mentioned earlier, I’m preparing YouTube aiming for this or next month. I plan to capture daily life on video and write essays. There are many wonderful people growing after trauma. I want to share their stories too. My goal is 30,000 subscribers (laughs). About 300,000 people watched my lecture on Sebasi (15 Minutes to Change the World). I hope about 10% of them subscribe. If I get that level of empathy and feedback, it will be fun to upload videos.

At 23, she met a traffic accident and suffered severe burns. She overcame more than forty painful surgeries and is living her ‘second life.’ She graduated from Ewha Womans University with a degree in Early Childhood Education, earned a master’s degree in Rehabilitation Counseling from Boston University, a master’s degree in Social Work from Columbia University, and a Ph.D. in Social Work from UCLA. She currently teaches students in the Department of Counseling Psychology and Social Welfare at Handong Global University.