"Please, Let This Never Happen Again"... The Cry of a Victim [Child Abuse SOS] ①

[Scars That Last a Lifetime] Interview with a Survivor
"Society Must Step Up to Protect Abused Children"

Editor's NoteIn 2020, the 'Jeongin case' marked a turning point in public perception, with child abuse coming to be recognized as a serious social crime rather than merely a domestic issue. However, the number of child abuse victims has not decreased, and a significant portion of perpetrators are parents who are supposed to be protectors. Asia Economy is conducting an in-depth, five-part series examining the realities, causes, and solutions of child abuse.

"Hell began for me when my parents divorced during my childhood."

Child abuse victim Kim Mo (35) and a child are taking a commemorative photo during a "two-person three-legged walking trip to Jeju Island" in August last year. Provided by the Korea Child Abuse Prevention Association

Kim, a 35-year-old victim of child abuse, began living with her stepmother after her parents divorced when she was six. Her childhood was marked not by warmth and affection, but by neglect and violence. The abuse she experienced as a child did not end as mere painful memories. Instead, it left indelible scars that have deeply affected her entire life.

◆A Time Too Painful to Recall

On May 15, at her home in Pyeongtaek, Gyeonggi Province, Kim met with Asia Economy and tearfully recounted the wounds inflicted by her biological mother, biological father, and stepmother. At an age when she should have been protected, she was neglected and forced to care for herself amid the indifference of adults. Kim recalled, "My parents would fight and throw things at each other right in front of me, without any concern for my presence. After their arguments, I was often left alone at home. I was always alone."

The situation worsened after her parents' divorce. Her stepmother took out her anger on Kim, and her father either condoned or participated in the abuse. Kim said, "There were many times I was thrown out of the house in just my underwear. One night, when it was unbearably cold, I spent the night in the apartment basement." The days she spent in fear and loneliness were a constant nightmare for her as a child. After two years, and following the birth of a younger sibling to her biological father and stepmother, Kim was sent to New Zealand to live with her biological mother.

However, New Zealand was not a safe haven. Her mother's boyfriend was uncomfortable with Kim's presence, and she had no choice but to return to Korea. What awaited her was even harsher abuse. Her stepmother would say, "Your mother abandoned you because of how you are," and "You deserve to be beaten because you are someone who was thrown away," and abused her without hesitation. Her stepmother oppressed Kim with words, hands, and her entire body. Scars from being hit with a ringed hand remain on Kim's head to this day.

Kim sought help from adults, but nothing changed. Her uncle suspected abuse and reported it, and a child abuse investigator visited their home. However, Kim could not tell the truth out of fear of her stepmother's retaliation. The investigation at the time concluded as "simple emotional abuse due to neglect," and no protective measures were taken. Thus, Kim had to live without recognition from anyone in the world.

Distrust of people came to dominate every aspect of Kim's life. Whether at school or in society, she was unable to form close relationships with anyone. Her only friend was a neighbor she knew while living in New Zealand. Whenever someone was kind to her, her first reaction was suspicion. She constantly kept her distance, thinking, "Why are they being nice to me?" and "Do they have some ulterior motive?" Although she tried to escape the memories of abuse, the deeply ingrained wounds did not heal easily. Kim said, "My childhood keeps coming back to haunt me," and "The trauma of abuse can never truly be overcome; it will remain with me for life."

Child abuse victim Kim Mo (35) and a child participated in the "Three-Legged Race Jeju Island Walking Trip" in August last year. Provided by the Korea Child Abuse Prevention Association

◆Rising Above the Pain, Reaching Out to Children

After becoming an adult, Kim gradually began to find meaning in life by meeting children who had suffered similar wounds. She now works as a mentor for survivors of child abuse. Kim said, "Last summer, I participated in an eight-night, nine-day walking program across Jeju Island with teenagers who had experienced child abuse. At first, things were awkward with the kids, but as we talked late into the night, we eventually cried together and comforted each other's wounds. Seeing the children felt like facing my own past." She said her heart was full, realizing that someone trusted her.

Kim still tears up whenever she hears news about child abuse. She said, "Even at this very moment, there are children trembling in fear," and "As an adult, all I can feel is regret." She emphasized that child abuse is not merely a family issue, but one that requires urgent social attention. Kim said, "This must never be repeated. We need to seriously consider what it means to become a parent and the responsibilities it entails," and "Ultimately, child victims become members of our society. Their pain inevitably becomes a burden for society as a whole."

※ Under the revised Civil Act, even parents have no right to physically discipline their children. Anyone who inflicts physical, emotional, or sexual abuse on a child can face up to 10 years in prison. If you suspect child abuse, report it to 112. For difficulties related to child care or support, consult 129 (Health and Welfare Counseling Center).