"Friend, Shall We Enter the Grave Together?"... People Preparing for the End [Sunday Culture]

Exchange Meetings for Future Grave Companions
"Ending Notes" for Recording Life in Advance Also Gain Popularity

In Japan, where low birth rates and aging populations have progressed ahead of South Korea, the number of single-person households aged 65 and over continues to increase. According to the future household projections by prefecture released by the Japan Institute of Social Security and Population Issues in November last year, the number of single-person households aged 65 and over living alone is expected to reach 1,083,000 in 2050, a 46.9% increase compared to 2020. It is anticipated that in 32 prefectures, the proportion of such households will exceed 20%. The increase is expected to be even more pronounced in major metropolitan areas such as the Tokyo metropolitan area and Osaka.

Given this trend, the activity known as "Sh?katsu (終活)," which means preparing for the final stage of life, has steadily attracted people's interest in Japan. Since the old culture of three generations?children, grandchildren, and grandparents?living together is no longer common, it is awkward to ask distant relatives or grandchildren to "periodically visit and maintain my grave," and people are unsure how to handle inheritances and other matters. This encompasses many meanings, from economic issues to reflecting on life and preparing for a "well dying." Today, we share insights about Sh?katsu in Japan.

An essential aspect of Japanese Sh?katsu is the concept of "Hakay? (墓友)," or "grave friends." This term refers to relationships formed among people who choose communal graves instead of family graves that require descendants to maintain them. Communal graves differ somewhat from public cemeteries; instead of individual mounds for each person, multiple remains are buried together. These communal graves are provided by local governments or arranged privately.

Notably, senior cooperatives offer such services. For example, the Hyogo Prefecture Senior Cooperative operates communal graves in two locations in Kobe City. Including the costs of interment, the price per person ranges from 100,000 to 200,000 yen (approximately 970,000 to 1,940,000 KRW), with no annual maintenance fees required. Those who complete contracts for communal graves during their lifetime can participate in "grave friend" exchange meetings, which have been held for over ten years. These gatherings occur two to three times a year, including lunch and occasional visits to communal graves where others are already interred. Participants reportedly express high satisfaction.

Meeting strangers for meals might be uncomfortable, but participants find it surprisingly easy to become friendly, thinking, "We will be together after death anyway." Attendance is voluntary, but if absent, a simple reason must be submitted. The reason need not be elaborate; explanations like "I've been busy playing table tennis lately" or "I have a hospital appointment" are sufficient. This helps everyone get to know each other a little.

This "grave friend" relationship provides a sense of security. Although it might be uncomfortable to have remains buried with complete strangers who are not blood relatives, becoming somewhat acquainted alleviates this discomfort. Nowadays, even friends who were close during life sometimes agree to be buried together as they age, extending their relationships into the afterlife. Thus, relationships supporting the later stages of life are evolving in various forms.

Joint grave operated by the Elderly Cooperative in Hyogo Prefecture. NHK.

Communal graves are also created as extensions of living communities. For example, a senior-only community in Tochigi Prefecture offers communal graves for residents. This is similar to a silver town in South Korea, a senior-exclusive living space where services from daily life to funerals are all managed.

In fact, public communal graves are gradually increasing in Japan. According to NHK, in the Tokyo metropolitan area, including Tokyo and neighboring prefectures, the establishment of communal graves over the past 20 years has expanded burial capacity by approximately 380,000. At times, communal graves of the tree burial type have seen competition rates as high as 38 to 1. Cemeteries are continuously managed by local governments, providing equal burial rights at affordable prices, linking this to welfare. Without descendants to manage graves after death, graves effectively become abandoned without ties to the area.

Sh?katsu also includes a culture of recording and organizing remaining matters during life, such as the "ending note," which reflects on one's life. Ending notes are even sold at 100-yen shops like Daiso in Japan. Although they do not have legal effect like a will, they allow individuals to organize messages they want to convey to those around them, record asset status, social network service (SNS) passwords, and contact information for close people, gaining attention.

Ending notes sold on Amazon Japan. Amazon Japan.

Notably, many ending notes include sections for pets. They allow owners to record who they hope will care for their pets after they pass away, the pet's name and age, whether pet insurance is subscribed, favorite foods and any dietary restrictions, the usual veterinary clinic, and the veterinarian's name.

In Japan, the word "Sh?katsu" has two meanings. One is "Sh?katsu (就活)," meaning job hunting, and the other is "Sh?katsu (終活)," meaning preparing for the end of life. Although homophones, they have completely different meanings.

However, since both involve designing and preparing for the life one desires, some say these two words represent similar life processes. They remind us to think intensely about beginnings and also to consider endings, offering many insights.