Kim Sumi's Diary Published as a Book... All Royalties Donated
Diary Includes Claims of Embezzlement Accusations and Panic Disorder Complaints
Actress Kim Sumi's diary, in which she candidly expressed her feelings before passing away, will be published as a book.
On the 12th, Yonhap News reported, "Kim Sumi's diary, honestly written from her 30s in 1983 until her final years, will be published as a book titled 'I Petition: About All Things That Kill Me'." The bereaved family revealed that they decided to release the diary out of sorrow, having witnessed the pain Kim Sumi endured in her later years, and that all royalties from the book will be donated.
According to Yonhap News, the late actress's writings also show her determination to publish the diary as a book. Kim Sumi wrote, "I am afraid of the repercussions that will hit my family after this book is published," but added, "Having embraced the Lord, I have gained courage. I want to share the philosophy of my life with those who have decided to commit suicide and with young people, so that they can understand how I have reached this age and position."
Throughout the diary, the actress's painful inner feelings behind her public image, her passion and anxiety about work, and the joys and sorrows toward her family were all vividly recorded. The content varied from time to time. Sometimes she filled a page with prayers of gratitude, while at other times, her handwriting became erratic as she expressed her suffering.
On October 27th, the bereaved family held a portrait photo at the funeral hall of Hanyang University Hospital in Seoul, where the funeral service for the late Kim Su-mi was held. Photo by Yonhap News
In particular, shortly before her death, Kim Sumi was known to have suffered extreme stress due to a dispute with a company selling food products under her name. This is evident in her diary entries from October to November 2023. She confessed, "Every day is torture. With the article breaking out, I don't have an appetite or sleep without sleeping pills, fearing the repercussions," and "The anxiety, fear, and mental anguish over the past month were like a nightmare. I was worried sick that an article about the company lawsuit would break."
This period coincided with when her son, Jung Myung-ho, filed a complaint against Mr. A of Napalggot F&B, a company selling food products under Kim Sumi's name, on charges of embezzlement and fraud, and the opposing party threatened to release counter-articles. In January this year, after Napalggot F&B dismissed Jung, who was the company representative, they filed a lawsuit against Kim Sumi and Jung for business-related embezzlement, leading to a flood of related news articles.
Kim Sumi expressed her frustration by writing, "Lord, I have not committed any sin," and "An article broke today. (Omitted) Embezzlement? It's really absurd." Her daughter, Jung, said, "Mom was afraid and ashamed not of whether she would be cleared or acquitted later, but of even a single line of article being published," adding, "Contrary to appearances, Mom was deeply upset and found it hard to endure the articles and comments."
Kim Sumi was also known to have suffered from panic disorder in her later years. Since January this year, she wrote, "Food tastes like sand grains, and the suffocating pain of panic disorder cannot be healed by any medicine." On another day, she left a note saying, "Panic disorder, I feel suffocated. Anxiety, fear, it was truly the hardest time of my life."
Her family said that although they all advised against her last appearance on a home shopping broadcast during her lifetime, she appeared due to pressure from the company, which was heartbreaking. Her daughter Jung recalled, "She was mentally exhausted from stress and panic disorder and needed to rest. Even if done with joy, home shopping consumes a lot of energy, so doing it under pressure was difficult for her."
The diary also recorded her deep love for her work. Kim Sumi debuted as part of MBC's 3rd public recruitment talent in 1971 and had been active for over 50 years until recently, yet her passion for acting never waned.
"I risk my life to record, practice, play, and endure, hoping there will be some reward" (April 1986), "Yesterday's recording went well. Let's run at full speed with the heart of debuting again after 70 years and show them what we can do" (January 2004), "I am so thirsty for acting" (February 2017)
The diary also contained her affection for her family. In October 1985, she wrote, "Dragging my body that has no strength to sit, I kiss the forehead of my daughter who sleeps soundly like an angel and swear every day, 'Mom will live hard for you.'"
What she wished for above all was a peaceful life. In a 1986 diary entry, she wrote, "Rather than glamorous popularity, I want to be more like an ordinary mother of ordinary kids. I want to work moderately, plant small flowers in a cozy home, read good books, and wait for the kids to come home from school." In 2011, she also expressed a wish, "I have one last wish. I want to live in a house with a yard, or with morning glory vines climbing the fence on the first floor. And I want to write."
Meanwhile, the 49th-day memorial service praying for the late's soul was held at 2 p.m. today in Yongin, Gyeonggi Province. The late's posthumous work, "Ghost Police," is also scheduled to be released in January next year.
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