Criticism of Wedding Culture in Fianc?e's Story
Positive Attitudes Toward Marriage Continue to Decline
A bride-to-be's story about her prospective in-laws expecting a wedding gift (yedan) without providing financial help for buying a house has become a hot topic among netizens. On the 4th, a post titled "They won't buy a house but want yedan. Should I call off the wedding?" was uploaded on 'Nate Pann,' the largest online community in Korea. The author, A, who identified herself as the bride-to-be, began by saying, "Both my boyfriend and I have saved 100 million won each, and since we live in a provincial area, we are looking into buying an apartment with some loans."
According to the '2024 Wedding Cost Report' conducted and published by the matchmaking company Gayoun around January, targeting married couples in their 1 to 5 years of marriage, the average total wedding cost spent by prospective couples was approximately 304.74 million KRW. [Photo by Asia Economy DB]
She continued, "Neither of us can get financial help from our parents, so we are preparing and planning to get married next year, but my boyfriend's parents keep bringing up yedan." She expressed frustration, saying, "My boyfriend's older brother said that when he got married, his wife gave various yedan items, and told us to do the same if we want." She added, "I got annoyed and told my boyfriend yesterday, 'They won't buy a house for us, so why do they want yedan? If they had money, they should help with the house.' He said, 'That's true, but you said it in a really hurtful way,' and he's been sulking ever since."
Furthermore, A asked netizens, "Even if it's a 'half-and-half marriage,' is there a family that expects yedan without contributing a single penny?" and confessed, "I want to call off the wedding." Netizens commented, "The fact that the yedan issue came to you instead of your boyfriend handling it might mean he also wants yedan," "Personally, I think you should call it off. If they act like this before marriage, hell awaits after," and "If you seriously clash during wedding preparations, calling it off is the right choice." One netizen especially pointed out, "Outdated marriage gift and dowry customs should disappear," adding, "Low birth rates are serious, but before that, the increasing number of people choosing not to marry is also a social problem."
Average Total Wedding Cost for Engaged Couples is 304.74 Million Won
Earlier, in January, the marriage information company Gayeon conducted and published the '2024 Wedding Cost Report' based on surveys of married couples married 1 to 5 years. The report showed that the average total wedding cost for engaged couples was about 304.74 million won. The newlywed home accounted for the largest portion of the budget at 241.76 million won, about 79% of the total. The average cost for yedan and wedding supplies was about 26 million won.
When asked, "What would you like your fianc?'s wedding budget to be?" the desired average budget was 83.4 million won. There was a gender difference, with men’s desired amount about 1.6 times higher than women’s. Specifically, men hoped for a woman's wedding fund of 63.8 million won, while women hoped for 103 million won. By age group, those in their 20s averaged 81 million won, and those in their 30s about 85.7 million won.
Meanwhile, according to a report published last year by the Statistics Korea Development Institute titled 'Social Trends in Korea 2023,' positive attitudes toward marriage among young people in their 20s and 30s have steadily declined since 2008. The percentage of 20-somethings who responded that marriage is "necessary" or "preferable" dropped from 71.9% in 2008 to 41.9% last year, a 30 percentage point decrease. For those in their 30s, the rate fell from 69.7% to 48.7%, a 21 percentage point drop during the same period.
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