Deception About Job and Occupation Leads to Broken Engagement
"Must Have IOU and Evidence of 'Lent Money'"
A man who lied about his job to his fianc?e was reported to have been stalked after lending her 20 million won and then being notified of their breakup.
On the 2nd, a man in his 30s, Mr. A, sought advice on YTN Radio's "Attorney Jo In-seop's Counseling Center," asking, "Does continuously contacting an ex-girlfriend count as stalking?"
Mr. A promised marriage to Ms. B, whom he met through a gaming club, and planned to introduce each other to their parents. Mr. A had previously told Ms. B that he was a "manager at a promising small-to-medium enterprise," but in reality, he was an assistant manager at an ordinary small-to-medium enterprise.
Mr. A intended to confess his lie when they promised marriage, but the lie was exposed when they coincidentally met a coworker during a date. Afterwards, Mr. A apologized to Ms. B for lying, and Ms. B forgave him, saying, "I didn't date you because of your job."
However, Ms. B suddenly announced her resignation and asked, "I want to study, so please lend me tuition fees." She also said, "The distance from home to the academy is far," and requested, "Please also help with the cost of purchasing a vehicle." Mr. A paid her monthly tuition fees and lent her 20 million won for the vehicle purchase, as Ms. B had forgiven him.
A few months later, Ms. B notified him of their breakup, saying, "My parents said you can't fix your habit of lying." She had not repaid the 20 million won Mr. A lent her. Mr. A was even blocked from contacting Ms. B, so he sent messages through bank transfers of 100 won each, with texts like "Give me back the money I lent you," "You have no conscience," "Return the money," and "If you don't pay, we can't break up." At the same time, wanting to hold onto Ms. B, he sent gifts via messenger. In response, Ms. B filed a stalking complaint against Mr. A.
Mr. A asked, "We even promised marriage, but we broke up. Is sending gifts to try to win her back a crime?"
Attorney Jo In-seop explained, "Continuously sending messages and attempting contact despite the fianc?e's refusal can constitute stalking. Mr. A's repeated contact attempts were mainly to recover the money he lent, not necessarily to threaten or reconcile."
He added, "According to court trends, if the other party clearly expresses refusal, any further efforts to restore the relationship should be avoided in any form. If the fianc?e entered the engagement believing Mr. A's job but the engagement was broken due to deception, Mr. A is responsible for damages."
Regarding the possibility of Mr. A recovering the money lent to Ms. B, Attorney Jo said, "It depends on whether it was a gift or a loan. To get the money back, a loan agreement should be made, but it's difficult to do so in a dating relationship."
He advised, "It's best to keep evidence such as text messages indicating when the money will be repaid or statements that the money was lent."
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