"My Child's Nickname Is Stubborn"… Stigmatization Starting Simultaneously with School Admission [Isolated Island on the Borderline]

① 'Small Society' Faces Obstacles from School Entry
Delayed Diagnosis Due to Lack of Information
Perceived as Problem Children Due to Mutism and Aggressiveness
Rejected by Peers, Leading to Lack of Social Skills

Editor's NoteThere are people living on a remote island called 'slow learners.' According to expert estimates, 1 in 10 people (13.6%) in the population fall within this remote island on the normal distribution of intelligence quotient (IQ). Their journey to adulthood is arduous. From the first diagnosis in infancy and early childhood to finding a career and becoming independent, every step is a struggle for survival. Parents bear the burden of paying millions of won monthly for treatment to prevent their children from falling out of society, and they personally seek out friendships and jobs. Recently, many local governments have enacted support ordinances, but these often remain superficial or are limited to support during adolescence. Asia Economy met with six parents of slow learner children in infancy and youth to examine the problems they face and seek solutions.

#I just thought my child was a little slower than others. I believed that the dictation scores, which never exceeded 20 points, would improve over time. Mr. Park Junhee (47, pseudonym) had his heart shattered by a single text message from the homeroom teacher. It said that his youngest daughter, Kim Seoah (9, pseudonym), fought with her desk mate every day and refused the teacher's guidance. Whenever the teacher asked about the circumstances, Kim firmly kept silent, shook her head, and left. Eventually, after calling ten parents, Mr. Park was able to learn the full story. The desk mate had been stealing pencils from Kim's bag for months and bullying her by calling her a 'fool.' Mr. Park went to the teacher to explain, but the classmates kept calling Kim a 'bad child' and avoided her throughout the semester.

Kim Sooyoung, when he was in the 6th grade of elementary school, copying the poem "Danjeongi" by poet Do Jong-hwan into his notebook.
[Photo by Junhee Park]

'Slow learners' are a group with intelligence quotients (IQ) between 71 and 84, distinguishing them from those with intellectual disabilities and those without disabilities. They are characterized by cognitive abilities and social development, known as 'nunchi' (social awareness), that are one step behind their peers. Due to these traits, slow learners become targets of prejudice and exclusion from the moment they step into the small society of elementary school. Especially, the inadequate government support and lack of awareness among teachers pose significant obstacles for slow learners as they grow from early childhood into adolescence.

◆Delayed Recognition Due to Lack of Information... Expensive Diagnosis Costs Paid Out-of-Pocket

Parents face the first hurdle of 'diagnosis' around the time their child enters elementary school. There is no clear standard to distinguish whether their child is somewhat slower in understanding compared to peers or belongs to the slow learner group. Often, it is only when children reach upper elementary grades and receive education requiring thinking skills such as addition and division that parents begin to notice.

The delay in diagnosis is largely due to the fact that, unlike developmental disabilities, the characteristics of slow learners are not socially well known. Slow learners have difficulty maintaining concentration and learning abstract concepts cognitively. Emotionally, they are clumsy in expressing feelings and intentions, often showing aggression and depression. Socially, they struggle with age-appropriate vocabulary usage.

[Image source=Getty Images Bank]

However, parents without this specialized knowledge often visit hospitals citing depression or other mental illnesses, only to face the reality. Mr. Park’s eldest son, Kim Sooyoung (18, pseudonym), was diagnosed when he visited a pediatric psychiatry clinic for Tourette syndrome (tic disorder) treatment in fourth grade. Although Kim showed signs such as leaving workbooks blank or not concentrating during observation classes since first grade, Mr. Park did not notice.

Cost is also a major factor delaying diagnosis. Some local governments have distributed screening tests through ordinances, but most parents currently bear the diagnosis costs themselves. Diagnosis is conducted through comprehensive psychological testing (full battery), including intelligence and psychological tests. Private psychological centers charge about 400,000 won per session, and university hospitals can charge up to 1 million won, causing many parents to turn away at the hospital door.

Late diagnosis leads to a decline in intelligence. The optimal diagnosis period is generally between ages 4 and 6. If art and psychological therapies are actively combined during this period, IQ and social skills can be improved. After upper elementary grades, the effectiveness of improvement significantly decreases. In fact, Kim Seoah, diagnosed at age 6, improved her IQ from 77 to 84 in just two years. However, Kim Sooyoung, diagnosed at age 11, still struggles with language and learning and has fallen into online game addiction.

◆Aggression and Lack of Vocabulary... Misunderstood as Troublemakers Due to Lack of Understanding of Slow Learners

Even after diagnosis, school life is not easy. If teachers do not properly understand the characteristics of slow learners, stigmatization begins. In unfair situations, slow learners choose silence due to lack of vocabulary, or their clumsy emotional expression is mistaken for aggression, leading to being labeled as troublemakers.

Kim Sooyoung was also nicknamed 'villain' starting around fourth grade. The homeroom teacher told Mr. Park that Kim repeatedly raised his hand during class and shouted words unrelated to learning, calling him 'stubborn.' Other parents did not want to include Kim in weekend outings with peer groups. Kim was a loner in class. On days with group learning, he could not find friends to form a group with and wandered around the classroom or stood alone at the back during breaks.

◆My Child Became a Loner... Mothers Searching for Friends

Peer rejection leads to a lack of social skills in slow learners. Children learn consideration and communication skills through experiences of fighting and reconciling with friends. However, the stigma attached upon entering elementary school deprives them of these opportunities.

Therefore, parents of slow learners roam neighborhoods seeking friends for their children. Ms. Kim Miyoung (42, pseudonym), a parent living in Yeonje-gu, Busan, joined a slow learner parents' social group she found through an internet portal last year. She noticed her sixth-grade daughter, Kim Jiyoon (13, pseudonym), awkwardly smiling and unable to join conversations during an open class.

Through the social group, parents decided to become friends for each other's children. Kim Jiyoon found her first peer group where she could feel a sense of belonging. In this group, she did not have to pretend to know popular slang or understand jokes.

Ms. Kim feels happy seeing her daughter brighten but also heartbroken. She believes that if local governments or the central government took the initiative to create such groups, more children could escape loneliness.

Ms. Kim appealed, "Even if friends are made outside of school, slow learners endure difficult school life just knowing they have friends. If the community takes the lead in supporting peer activities, more children can break free from isolation."