"Attended a Doljanchi and gave a congratulatory gift, but also had to pay for Doljabi money... Isn't this too much?"

Issue of 'Doljabi Cost' Following Congratulatory Money Raised
"Money Needed for Doljabi Collected from Attendees"
Netizens Debate "Celebrate" vs "It's a Nuisance"

As the issue of congratulatory money and first birthday party expenses has become a hot topic, the practice of collecting money from guests for the first birthday grab, known as 'Doljabi cost,' has now come under scrutiny.

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On the 28th, a post titled "First birthday parties are a bit uncomfortable" was uploaded to an online community. As of 10 a.m. on the 29th, the post had garnered 46,000 views and 350 recommendations, becoming a major topic of discussion. The author, A, who attended an acquaintance's child's first birthday party, said, "I don't have children yet, and even if I do, I plan to keep the first birthday party modest, just a meal with immediate family," but added, "However, I respect those who hold first birthday parties. It's their choice."

A explained the situation: "Recently, an acquaintance said they were having a first birthday party, and since we are somewhat close, I went to congratulate them. After greeting and giving a congratulatory gift, we were eating when the first birthday ceremony began." He continued, "During the Doljabi segment, the host introduced the items, then said, 'The most important thing, money, is missing,' and slyly asked the child's mother and father. The child's father then gestured to the guests to give money. When the child's father came forward holding the Doljabi tray, the atmosphere was like, 'We already gave congratulatory money when we arrived; do we have to give more?'" He added that the parents exchanged awkward glances as people hesitated.

A said, "In the end, since the guests did not come forward, the child's grandparents gave money," and added, "But it would be better if the parents prepared the money for the Doljabi in advance. From the guests' perspective, it is very uncomfortable." He continued, "After collecting congratulatory money, collecting money again at the first birthday party is not a good idea, especially for those who attend with good intentions," and asked, "I wonder how I should handle this if I experience it again."

Netizens who read the story responded with comments such as, "Do they want to make money off the child with such an event?" "Double-dipping money from complete strangers is not right," "Isn't the first birthday party supposed to be a family-only event?" "I wish first birthday parties would disappear," "I don't mind giving congratulatory money, but the money for the first birthday party is really a waste," "It's ridiculous to hold a first birthday party just to collect money," and "That's why first birthday parties should be family-only."

On the other hand, some netizens commented, "It would have been fine to give about ten thousand won with good intentions," "Just don't attend at all," "It's a host custom, not something the child's parents ordered," and "Maybe they wanted money for the child's education expenses."

Meanwhile, disputes related to first birthday parties have been ongoing for over a decade. In July last year, a post by a mother, B, who was considering a first birthday party, received comments from netizens telling her not to hold one, saying, "Times have changed a lot these days." In February of the same year, a netizen explained, "I wish first birthday parties were only with family. Last year, I was contacted for a wedding and gave congratulatory money, gave housewarming gifts, and gave pregnancy and birth gifts right after the wedding, but now they are contacting me for a first birthday party." They added, "If you don't want your child to be criticized, it's better to have the first birthday party with family only," and harshly criticized, "First birthday parties are a nuisance to those around you for your own happiness."