When I asked a friend who gave 30,000 won as a congratulatory gift why... "You also gave 30,000 won 10 years ago"

Friend Who Married in College Gave 30,000 Won Gift at Wedding
Friend Who Married 10 Years Later Gave Same Amount
When Asked About Gift Money, They Said "You Gave 30,000 Won, So I Did Too"

While attending the wedding of a friend who got married relatively early during university, the writer gave a congratulatory gift of 30,000 won, but a story has emerged that the same amount was returned to them 10 years later, sparking controversy.

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On the 21st, a post titled "A friend who says they will only give 30,000 won because they gave 30,000 won as a congratulatory gift at their wedding 10 years ago" was uploaded on an online community. The author, Mr. A, began by saying, "We have been close friends since high school and even attended the same university. We often met and stayed close since our military units were nearby."

Mr. A introduced his friend, Mr. B, as a wealthy person who owns three apartments in his name in the provinces and used to run a junk shop, receiving over 1 million won in allowance monthly. Mr. A said, "Mr. B got married 10 years ago while we were still in university. At that time, I was a student and only had 30,000 won to give as a congratulatory gift. Other friends gave similar amounts."

Ten years later, Mr. A also held his wedding. After returning from the honeymoon and settling the congratulatory gifts, Mr. A was disappointed when he saw the amount Mr. B gave. Mr. A explained, "Mr. B gave only 30,000 won, not even 50,000 won. He didn’t come alone but brought his kids, which I think is unfair." He added, "That friend got married in a church and served a 10,000 won Korean buffet, while I had a hotel wedding with a hotel buffet meal. It really made me lose affection. I told other friends, and they said they never expected such selfishness in giving congratulatory gifts."

Feeling upset, Mr. A contacted Mr. B about the congratulatory gift, but Mr. B calmly replied, "You gave 30,000 won, so I gave 30,000 won too." Mr. A said, "I gave generously for Mr. B’s son’s first birthday and housewarming gifts, so it feels bitter. He is one of my long-time friends, but seeing this side of him, I don’t know how to handle it. Is cutting off the friendship the answer?" he asked for opinions.

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Netizens who read the story responded with comments like, "There’s a reason why friends get fewer as you get older," "You handled it well," "Bringing kids and only giving 30,000 won is a bit much," and "Don’t they know that these days congratulatory gifts start at 50,000 won?"

On the other hand, some netizens showed negative views toward Mr. A. Netizen C said, "It’s not 20 years ago but 10 years ago, and even if you were a student, 30,000 won is a bit low," adding, "I got married 16 years ago and never saw 30,000 won." He continued, "Weddings are a give-and-take system, and most people give as much as they receive. Don’t think about what you would have done or what ifs. That only leads to disappointment in relationships and hurts yourself." Other netizens shared opinions such as, "Why didn’t you give more at that friend’s wedding?" "Maybe the friend was disappointed 10 years ago and took revenge," "If you gave 30,000 won, you should get 30,000 won back," "30,000 won is low then and now," and "Do people get married just to receive congratulatory gifts?"

Meanwhile, looking at the wedding costs at six wedding halls in Seoul on the 17th, the average meal cost per person was 82,000 won. Prices varied from a minimum of 66,000 won to a maximum of 108,000 won depending on the venue, and for hotel wedding halls, the average meal cost per person rose significantly to 160,000 won. According to the 'Ordinary People’s Financial Life Report 2024' published by Shinhan Bank last month, the amount of congratulatory gifts for acquaintances’ weddings varies depending on attendance and the wedding venue. The most common response for giving a gift without attending was 50,000 won (52.8%), with an average amount of 80,000 won. For direct attendance, 100,000 won was the most common (67.4%), with an average amount of 110,000 won.