[Sunday Culture] Are Japanese People Different Inside and Out?… Examples of Honne and Tatemae

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Japanese people are often perceived as having a different exterior and interior. This is due to the culture of 'Honne (本音)' and 'Tatemae (建前)'. Honne refers to one's true feelings, while Tatemae means a fa?ade or outward appearance. It involves hiding one's true feelings and expressing them indirectly on the surface.

This is not simply the image of "acting well in front but differently behind one's back," but rather a concept that broadly encompasses Japanese social culture. When did this culture start, and why did it arise? Today, we will share the story of Japan's Honne and Tatemae culture.

In Japan, Honne means sincerity or words that come from the heart, while Tatemae is used to convey differences in thoughts between oneself and others without causing discomfort. In fact, Tatemae is a term also used in architecture, referring to the 'Joryosiki' (上棟式), a ritual held when the main framework of a wooden building?pillars, roof, and beams?is almost complete, and the final ridgepole (Joryo) is raised. Like this, Tatemae refers to the outward appearance, similar in meaning to the Korean concept of 'geotchire' (겉치레), or superficial display.

But why does the building's framework appear in a story about hiding true feelings? There is a chilling urban legend related to this, which we will introduce.

Long ago in Japan, there was a famous master carpenter. As usual, he was tasked with building a house, but on the evening before the deadline, he made a mistake by cutting the entrance pillar too short. No matter what he did, he could not fix it, and this proud carpenter deeply blamed himself for his lack of skill. His wife, watching this, decided to sacrifice herself for him, staying up all night to assemble a different frame and repair the mistake. Thanks to her efforts, the building was completed safely the next day.

However, the carpenter began to think, "Even though we are husband and wife, I never know when my wife might tell someone else about this. I don't know when we might part."

His anxiety that his mistake might be revealed someday, combined with his distorted feelings of lost face and pride, grew so much that he eventually killed his wife, who knew the secret of the building.

Only after losing his wife did he repent his sin, and to atone, he offered seven tools such as a mirror, comb, and hairpin in a memorial service. It is said that the use of Honne and Tatemae originated from his story?losing his wife who devoted her true feelings (Honne) while focusing on the building's outward appearance (Tatemae). Whether you believe it or not, this is the legend.

In any case, this aligns with the Japanese linguistic habit of avoiding conflict and maintaining harmonious relationships in conversations. To avoid ruining the atmosphere, whether the content is good or bad, people tend to hide their true feelings well and use indirect expressions.

This kind of expression is especially common in business. For example, even if a task seems impossible, instead of outright refusing by saying "This seems impossible," people often respond with "I will consider it." This means they want to end things amicably rather than damaging the relationship by refusing. Because of this, phrases like "I will consider it" or "I will think about it" often imply rejection in business contexts.

Another example of Tatemae in business is when, after a consultation or meeting, small talk drags on and someone asks, "Ah, but is your time okay?" This is a way of saying that it's time to wrap up. If someone immediately replies, "I'm fine," they are seen as not reading the atmosphere.

In fact, even within Japan, there are negative opinions that this culture actually hinders progress. The Japanese media Mynavi pointed out that even when resigning, people often avoid saying things like "I didn't get along with my boss" or "The work environment was tough," and instead soften it by saying "To acquire higher skills" and so on.

Nevertheless, Honne and Tatemae still function as indispensable considerations for maintaining harmonious human relationships in Japan. Mynavi stated, "Honne and Tatemae are distinguished and used to communicate well without hurting the other person's feelings," and also pointed out that "thinking of Tatemae as lies and insisting on only Honne in conversations is not a good approach."

In fact, Koreans who live in Japan or interact frequently with Japanese people often get hurt or confused by Honne and Tatemae. Natural reactions like "Then why didn't you say so earlier?" or "This is frustrating" arise. Even though the two countries are physically close, this cultural difference can feel quite fresh and surprising.