[Senior Trend] 'Gajok-ui Tansaeng'... Alternative Families for Middle-aged and Older Adults

May is the month of family. The word gajeong (家庭) means a home where a family lives, and also refers to a community of people closely related by blood. For us, family has been the source of life and a place that provides a sense of belonging and solidarity. Although single-person households have become the norm, the invitation to "have a meal together" still holds meaning. Food connects us. The term sikgu (食口) does not simply mean people who eat from the same pot, but carries the meaning of surviving together. The process of making and eating something in one space is also a process of learning the history and culture unique to that household. It is a time for communication, hence the saying about education around the dining table. When interviewing senior generations for research these days, many say that the happiest moments are "when we can eat together and share stories."

This is something I heard at a silver town. It is a place with a considerable deposit and monthly rent. Here, hierarchy is not determined by wealth. Healthy, active, and considerate seniors are popular. One day, there was an elderly person who bragged that all his children had succeeded right after moving in. The eldest is a doctor, and the second works at a famous IT company and earns well. It is unclear whether he sent a generous allowance, but his children do not visit even on special occasions. In senior residential communities, what is considered a point of pride is not smart or successful children, but those who frequently send small snacks to share and make time to visit their parents. Therefore, among senior asset holders, it is a trend to regularly have meals with family and increase inheritance shares whenever children visit.

Family is a blood-related community and an economic community that supports society by sharing household affairs. KAIST President Kwang-Hyung Lee said in his book The Origin of the Future, “The three characteristics that distinguish humans from primates like chimpanzees are upright walking, hairless skin, and having family as a social unit.” No one in this world can be born alone. Especially human babies are so fragile that they cannot survive without the care of others, so the family system has a long history. However, the family structure composed of parents and children is rapidly decreasing. The traditional extended family has become a nuclear family, and now we have entered an era of nuclear individuals. According to Statistics Korea in 2023, among approximately 23.7 million households, about 7.5 million are single-person households, accounting for 34.5%. Following that, two-person households accounted for 28.8%. The government has been releasing many “low birthrate policies” aimed at increasing blood-related families, but living “alone” or “solo” without family has become the standard way of life.

Although different from the “normal” family, in some ways, rational and new forms of family suited to the realities of this era are being sought. These are communities that share some household affairs, not by paying for services. “Care” or “sharing” communities are emerging to connect the isolated points. It is a trend of creating “new families.” From “single elderly” to middle-aged senior generations, they are moving toward alternative families. In Busan, “Dorandoran House” has opened as public and shared housing for the elderly and is actively operating. Residents and local community members hold feasts and share food to foster welcoming relationships. In Changwon, there is the “Wanwoldalbit Social Housing.” Elderly neighbors who have known each other for a long time dream of a community where they can age without loneliness. Although each has their own space using a traditional Japanese-style house, they share side dishes in common areas. The Seongmisan Village, which started for communal childcare, has aged over time, but neighbors remain a family-like community. On the platform called “Namyijip,” people around their forties living in the metropolitan area visit strangers’ homes?not friends?and gather to eat and drink, albeit temporarily.

Like eating alone, drinking alone, traveling alone, or watching movies alone, our lives are rapidly pursuing freedom and autonomy, and for economic reasons, becoming more individualized. While this has brought convenience, it has also led to loneliness and solitude. Humans are essentially social animals. That is why, from living alone, people seek communities again. Solidarity, bonding, and sharing life bring great joy. Happiness may simply be family members quietly sharing a meal together every day. The new forms of family will continue to evolve with social changes, but this month, I hope you fill your time and warmth by sharing a meal with your estranged family...

Lee Boram, CEO of Third Age