[Youth Isolation 24 Hours] Harder Than Parenting Is Having 'No One to Talk To'... That's How Depression Came

<1>Isolated and Reclusive Youths Interviewed by Asia Economy
③Diverse Isolation Subjects from University Students to 'Gyeongdannyeo'
Library → Eating Alone → SNS...At-Risk Single-Person Household Youths
Feelings of Isolation and Postpartum Depression After Childbirth

Editor's NoteWhen eating alone after work, having hundreds of contacts saved on your phone but no one to confide in when going through tough times, or being unable to ask for help when sick or out of money... The young people in their 20s and 30s whom Asia Economy met confessed that they felt isolated in such moments. Could this be your story? If you have thought that words like 'hikikomori' or 'reclusive loner' belong to a different world, now is the time to properly reconsider isolation and seclusion.

"From the outside, it doesn't seem like they're 'isolated' at all. They go to school normally, go to work, and handle their tasks. But in reality, they are very vulnerable people. With just one trigger, they can immediately fall into serious seclusion."

- Choi Young-jun, PhD in Social Policy at Yonsei University and Director of the Welfare State Research Center

For young people in their 20s and 30s, isolation and seclusion appeared in various forms everywhere. Although the patterns varied slightly depending on gender, age, and occupation, they generally complained of isolation in daily life, saying they had no one to confide in. Asia Economy met individuals experiencing isolation in their daily lives from different positions such as single-person households, university students, and homemakers to examine the various forms of isolation.

People eating lunch alone at a convenience store in Seoul.
Photo by Heo Young-han

Lonely 'Single-Person Household' Youth in an Empty Studio Apartment

"There are many people around me, but I think the feeling of isolation grows the most when there is no one to open up to. You can't just snap your fingers and find someone to talk to, right? At times like that, I watch YouTube alone. Honestly, I guess it's more accurate to say I don't know what to do."

Hwang Jae-hyun (pseudonym, 36), a private academy instructor living alone in Gangnam-gu, Seoul, confessed to the reporter that he has been feeling down a lot lately. His daily life is busy as he works both as a private academy instructor and a programmer. However, when sitting alone in his quiet home, he often feels as if he is truly alone in the world. Until a few years ago, he used to meet friends and chat, but gradually it became difficult to make plans. When he suddenly looks at social networking services (SNS), he sometimes feels a sense of relative deprivation seeing acquaintances’ happy appearances.

Hwang said, "I know that people who post photos on SNS are not always happy," but he admitted, "Still, after seeing that, from my perspective living alone, I do feel isolated." He added, "For single-person households like me, the environment they are in affects them, and as they get older, they think they really have no friends, which increases the feeling of isolation."

One day in April, all the passengers on the Seoul subway are sitting while looking at their phones on their way home from work.
[Photo by Heo Young-han]

Like Hwang, single-person households are considered the most vulnerable group at risk of social isolation. Experts report that single-person households are more likely to feel loneliness and social isolation, experience depression, and have a higher risk of solitary death.

The problem is that the number of young people living alone is increasing. According to Statistics Korea, as of 2020, the proportion of young people aged 19 to 34 in the total population was 20.4%, significantly down from 28% in 2000, but the number of single-person households among the youth generation more than doubled from 781,000 to 1,935,000 during the same period. The number of young people living alone due to work or studies has rapidly increased.

University Students and Job Seekers Studying Alone with No One to Talk To

"I met a friend for a meal after a long time and realized, 'Ah, I caught a cold...' I didn't know because I hadn't talked to anyone all day, so I didn't notice my stuffy nose."

Oh Su-yeon (pseudonym, 21), a student at Korea University in Seongbuk-gu, Seoul, said she recently realized she had caught a cold while talking with a friend. She found out late because she had no one to talk to. Preparing for the Certified Public Accountant (CPA) exam for six months, Oh’s daily routine is thoroughly 'alone' these days. At 8:30 a.m., she wakes up and heads straight to the library to study. She eats lunch alone at home and brings a packed dinner. Sometimes she eats with friends but tries to eat alone as much as possible.

On the surface, her daily life seems fine, but there are many days when she lies in bed without saying a word all day. When loneliness becomes severe, she calls family or friends to talk about daily life, but only briefly.

"A senior who started preparing for the exam before me said, 'Life is dark.' Even when with friends, it feels gloomy. After hearing that, I started using the on-campus student counseling service once a week recently. Talking about exam anxiety and eating alone makes me feel a bit relieved."

A young man is sitting alone in a cafe in Seoul late at night.
Photo by Heo Younghan

University campuses are areas where youth social isolation is prominent. A recent report analyzing the degree of social isolation among single-person youth households aged 20 to 39 in Seoul by the Seoul National University Graduate School of Environmental Studies showed that areas around universities such as Jangchung-dong in Jung-gu, Daehak-dong in Gwanak-gu, and Hyehwa-dong in Jongno-gu had high 'comprehensive isolation indices.' This means university-area youth are more socially isolated, engaging less in external social activities compared to youth in other regions. Economic poverty influenced this. In university areas, more people are 'choosing' isolation themselves due to job hunting and exam preparation. Various exams and tests, usually considered the domain of juniors and seniors nearing graduation, are now also being tackled by freshmen and sophomores entering the job market early.

"Many students want to engage in social activities but are afraid. Lacking confidence, they rush into exam or job preparation. Since exam preparation means being alone, they create a state where this becomes a kind of 'legitimate isolation.' They say, 'I'm preparing for exams, so it's not strange that I'm alone.' But when you look closely, many spend their time feeling lethargic and depressed, barely studying."

- Counselor Hwang, Counseling Center at a 4-year university in Seoul

No Place to Rest Heart at Home or Work... 'Career-Interrupted Women'

Some young people face isolation due to career interruptions caused by pregnancy and childbirth. Last year, the number of domestic 'career-interrupted' women who quit their jobs due to pregnancy, childbirth, and childcare reached about 7.94 million. They often experience loneliness and isolation all at once, feeling like they belong nowhere after sudden environmental changes.

Kim Da-eun (pseudonym, 29), who went on parental leave after giving birth in March last year, also confessed to feeling isolated as if 'left alone in the world' for a while. She used to enjoy chatting with colleagues during lunch at work, but after childbirth, she experienced a communication breakdown. Her husband, who works shifts, worked until dawn, making it difficult to find time to talk, and it was hard to initiate contact with busy friends. She only had brief phone calls with her mother living in another region.

Kim said she kept quiet, thinking, 'Everyone becomes a mother, so maybe I'm just being overly sensitive.' When she went out alone to get some fresh air, she noticed office workers wearing ID badges and holding coffee. Before childbirth, Kim was a hardworking employee who achieved results and was recognized by colleagues.

"What was harder than childcare was having no one to talk to. My husband went to work, and my friends were busy. I think I talked to myself while watching the sleeping baby every day. After putting the baby to sleep, tears would flow for no reason. Looking back now, I think I had postpartum depression."

'Check your level of loneliness and social isolation risk'

Loneliness and Social Isolation Scale

https://www.asiae.co.kr/en/list/project/2024050314290051322A

If you want to read the 'Youth Isolation 24 Hours' articles

<1>Youth isolated and reclusive people Asia Economy met
① I am a 28-year-old isolated youth... "A person who cannot fulfill a full role"
② Isolation caused by employment... A day spent without saying a word all day
③ Harder than childcare is having no one to talk to... That’s how depression came
④ Eating instant rice and ramen for 3 years and playing games all day... When emotional instability worsens, eventually