[Youth Isolation 24 Hours] Traces Left at the End of Isolation... "I Miss Mom and Dad, I'm Sorry"

<3>Young People in Isolation and Seclusion Seen Up Close
②Current Police Officers and Special Company Officials Share Scenes of Solitary Deaths
Voices of Youth Left in Graffiti, Diaries, and More

Editor's NoteWhen eating alone after work, having hundreds of contacts saved on your phone but no one to confide in when things get tough, being sick or broke but unable to ask for help... The young people in their 20s and 30s whom Asia Economy met confessed that they felt isolated in such moments. Could this be your story? If you have thought that words like 'hikikomori' or 'reclusive loner' belong to a different world, now is the time to properly reconsider isolation and seclusion.

"A young man had been living here for two years, but recently he stopped paying rent and answering calls, so when I went up..."

"He was such a good son. He never complained even once about having a hard time..."

In the book Lonely Death is Social Murder, author Detective Kwon Jong-ho wrote that the landlord and family remembered the deceased 29-year-old young man this way. When a lonely death occurs, the police clean up the body and then conduct inquiries about the deceased. They investigate the cause of death through on-site examination to determine whether it was suicide or homicide, and how the life was ended.

Detective Kwon said in an interview with this paper that he cannot forget the scenes of young people's lonely deaths he personally experienced. While some young people leave suicide notes, it is not difficult to find scribbled traces like graffiti. The content is similar: things they want to do if they had money, dreams they want to achieve, bucket lists, things they want to do if they succeed. There are also writings left for family, saying things like "Mom, Dad, I miss you" and "I'm sorry."

Detective Kwon cited 'economic poverty' as the decisive reason why young people feel compelled to choose lonely death. Common features included cramped rooms and bank accounts with not even 10 won. However, there were no voices blaming or resenting anyone. This was what made Detective Kwon feel even more sorrowful when recalling young people's lonely deaths. There was no one to confide in. The deceased did not share their troubles with family or friends. The family thought the deceased was living well without any problems. Although they did not contact daily, occasional check-ins gave them the belief that the deceased was doing fine.

"There is no protection available from the government. It's almost like a deserted island. There is no interest. Of course, there may be feelings of despair because of no money, no hope, and no future, but what is even harder for young people is that no one tries to understand their painful feelings or reach out a hand. They live in indifference. In a way, I think this situation is even tougher than for middle-aged people."

Final Cleanup for the Departed...Specialized Cleaning Companies

If the police are the first to check the scene, the final step is handled by specialized cleaning companies. We accompanied three employees from a specialized cleaning company responsible for the final cleanup of young people's lonely death scenes. What they do is not simply 'cleaning.' It requires detailed and delicate processes that general cleaning companies cannot perform. They organize belongings, contact and deliver items to bereaved families, remove odors such as decomposition smells, and sometimes carry out major renovations like tearing off wallpaper and flooring.

At the scene, where one can see a person's life and its end in a concentrated way, there are leftover ramen, bread, drinks, supplements, shoes and clothes worn during life, photos, and more. One can feel the narrative of a person at the scene. Specialized cleaning staff unanimously say that scenes marked by bloodstains and decomposition odors?remnants of the pain of death?never become familiar no matter how many times they face them.

"Not long ago, I received a call asking to remove the smell of burning charcoal briquettes. I had a bad feeling. I felt I had to go quickly. It was a man in his 20s, and sure enough, he had attempted suicide by burning charcoal briquettes. When he came to his senses, he said he contacted us because he thought the smell and traces would remain. I talked with him for a long time. I told him to cheer up, to hang in there."

Most of the old gosiwons in Sillim-dong, Seoul have been rebuilt as studio apartment buildings, densely filling the streets. Photo by Heo Young-han

Shin Yu-seop, CEO of Jip Chiwwoojuneun Saramdeul (House Cleaning People), recalled the moment he received a call from a young man. After listening to the young man's difficult story that led him to contemplate suicide, he encouraged him by saying "Cheer up" and left.

Specialized cleaners who directly witness young people's lonely death scenes say they feel the number of young people dying is increasing. The reasons for these deaths are difficult to define simply, ranging from family conflicts such as domestic violence or property disputes, trauma from school violence, difficulties in economic activity due to unemployment, to losing assets in cryptocurrency or stocks.

Kim Sae-byeol, CEO of the specialized cleaning company Biohazard, said she saw the dark side of a 'competitive society' through young people's lonely death scenes. She felt that social networking services (SNS) have a significant influence. Comparing the seemingly perfect lives of others with their own, young people feel self-loathing, thinking "Why am I the only one like this?" or "Why am I like this?" She said diaries and scribbles containing such content are not hard to find in ownerless rooms left behind.

"Young people seem to have lost the meaning of life. There is pressure to enter good universities and companies, and behind that, the burden of starting a family. If they don't fit into this category, they feel like failures and become anxious. They don't really understand what happiness is. They are enduring a fierce life, but can they find happiness? When problems arise, they have to solve them on their own but don't know how. Also, they lack confidence. They worry excessively about others' views rather than their own thoughts or feelings. The perspectives of family, acquaintances, and older generations toward young people need to change. Instead of casually saying things like 'Pull yourself together,' 'How long will you be like this?' 'It wasn't like this in my day,' or 'Still with that talk,' words like 'If you're tired, just lie down' or 'Don't force yourself to stand up' would actually be comforting."

'Check your level of loneliness and risk of social isolation'

-Loneliness and Social Isolation Scale

https://www.asiae.co.kr/en/list/project/2024050314290051322A

If you want to read the 'Youth Isolation 24 Hours' articles

<1>Youth Isolated and Reclusive People Asia Economy Met
① I am a 28-year-old isolated youth... "A person who cannot fulfill a one-person role"
② Isolation caused by employment... A day spent without saying a word all day
③ Harder than parenting is having 'no one to talk to'... That's how depression came
④ Eating instant rice and ramen for 3 years and playing games all day... Emotional instability worsens eventually

<2>2024 Isolation Awareness Survey
① 6 out of 10 say "I feel lonely"... Complaining of pain from relationship breakdown and deprivation
② "Feeling alone at work"... 1 in 2 office workers say "Isolation feeling worsened"

<3>Observing Isolated and Reclusive Youth from the Side
① The 'COVID-19 class' is at risk... This year's flood of counseling calls
② Traces left at the end of isolation... "Mom, Dad, I miss you, I'm sorry"