[One Thousand Characters a Day] Han Seok-jun's Speaking Class＜4＞

Editor's NoteWords are vessels that carry a person's thoughts. Among the many people we meet in life, there are those with whom conversations are somehow enjoyable and whose depth of thought is exceptional. The common traits of such people are that their manner of speaking is upright, their attitude when listening to others is always serious, and they do not blurt out whatever comes to mind. A good attitude certainly makes the words we speak more beautiful. Word count: 931.

In life, there are many times when we are treated in ways that we cannot understand from our own perspective. We end up cornering the other person with phrases like, “Isn't it obvious that you're the strange one?” or “Go ask someone on the street if you're the weird one or not.”

Such conflicts often occur especially between spouses. That is why some say that international marriages can actually be happier. Because their thoughts differ, they can more easily accept unreasonable situations. However, even living in the same Republic of Korea, since people grow up in different environments, the thoughts that serve as the basis for behavior can also differ. Therefore, arguing over who is right or wrong about a particular behavior is meaningless.

For example, which is correct: closing the toothpaste cap or leaving it open? A person who believes it is natural to close the cap cannot understand someone who leaves it open. But a person who thinks leaving the cap open is more convenient may find closing it annoying.

Everyone is different. Just because someone is from the same hometown, went to the same school, or has the same job, it is a futile expectation to think that the other person will act with the same thoughts as you. And when we meet someone who thinks differently from us, we consider that person to be ‘wrong.’ Being late for an appointment is also, in a way, because I believe my thought that time should be kept is ‘correct,’ so I judge the friend whose behavior deviates from my thought as ‘wrong behavior.’

Therefore, in human relationships, disputes over who is right or wrong are meaningless. Such disputes are nothing but fruitless and exhausting arguments. If you find yourself in such a situation, rather than blaming the other person and hoping for change, I recommend stepping back and changing the direction of your thoughts to find what you can do. One good method is to nod in agreement to the other person's words. In my case, surprisingly, the other person appreciated my consideration and reflected on their own behavior.

- Han Seokjun, <Han Seokjun's Speaking Class>, Influential, 16,800 KRW