[One Thousand Characters a Day] Making a Path and Walking in the Field of the Heart <5>

Editor's NoteSomeone once said that the reason for writing is because there is an unresolved problem or something deeply filled in one’s heart. Professor Emeritus Shim Young-hee of Hanyang University wrote a book titled Fields of the Heart, Making Paths and Walking, capturing her feelings and thoughts during the process of gradually starting to walk again to overcome a sudden illness that came one day. She confesses, "As I began to walk, I started to see the ‘sociologist Shim Young-hee’ shell that surrounded me, the life hardened layer by layer, turning into a fossil." She also makes a vow: although she has not completely escaped her past way of life nor fully recovered from the illness, she now wants to live as her true self by meeting small, precious, and beautiful things. Professor Shim’s essays can also be found on the YouTube channel (Joongmin World, https://www.youtube.com/@joongmin_ibc). Word count: 995.

While walking, I began to enjoy nature and flowers, but I wondered if this was perhaps an excuse to avoid something by blaming the illness. I also thought about what I could do once I recovered from this illness and what I truly desire. My thoughts grew numerous.

There is a saying, "Sometimes rest deeply. A field left fallow for a year yields a rich harvest." In fact, I feel I have rested enough while being sick. Looking closely, it seems a small ember still remains alive in my heart. It is the life as a sociologist. Once a sociologist, always a sociologist, it seems. Especially, I want to capture this era where society rapidly changes due to the COVID-19 pandemic and human relationships are conducted non-face-to-face. Seeing the reality where serious individualization accelerates, I feel there are even more research tasks to undertake as a sociologist.

On the other hand, I also feel that I should now let go of my life as a sociologist. Yet, the thought of writing a truly excellent book, whether an essay or academic work, stirs within me once I regain my health. I wonder if after all this hardship I still cannot let go of my desires, but perhaps this is a natural ambition for someone who has studied.

“The end of our exploration will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time,” said British poet T.S. Eliot. When Professor Song Wook, who was an interviewer for university entrance exams, asked why I applied to the English literature department, I confidently answered that I wanted to learn five world languages, become a journalist, travel the world, and write novels based on those experiences. Have I now, after a long journey, found where my beginning was? Or is this the start of a new exploration?

I will continue walking. To manage the depression and desires within my heart. Then, when my body becomes stronger, after overcoming the COVID era, I plan to challenge the true Santiago pilgrimage on the other side of the globe.

Finding my Santiago path, finding my true self... Whether through writing, volunteering, or walking, I will be able to realize my dreams.

Because I have such dreams, though it is hard, today too I walk.

- Shim Young-hee, Fields of the Heart, Making Paths and Walking, Joongmin Publishing, 15,800 KRW