[One Thousand Characters a Day] Sad Feelings Are Also a Habit<4>

Editor's NoteAsia Economy provides daily 1,000-character transcription content for the 'One Day Ten Thousand Characters' newsletter readers. The transcription content is carefully selected according to themes by day and month from Eastern and Western classics, Korean literature, notable columns, and famous speeches. This excerpt is from the book “Depressed Minds Are Also Habits” by psychologist Professor Park Sang-mi, who talks about taking responsibility for one's emotions and living a happy life. The text contains 922 characters.

We can never change others. What we can change are the ears that listen, the mind that interprets situations positively, and a positive way of thinking?nothing more. What we can do is only change our own choices. So, don’t get stressed because of people who make you suffer; instead, cultivate feelings of compassion.

When you have compassion for others, you can calm your anger and further understand their perspective. Considering and understanding the other person’s position is called 'empathy.' If you can feel compassion and empathy, you can lean on each other, help one another, and live beautifully in this difficult world.

To understand others, you must first have compassion for yourself. This does not mean pitying yourself by saying, “Oh, I am really a miserable person.” Psychologist Kristin Neff calls the act of being kind to oneself Self-Compassion. Just as you do not blame but forgive a close friend when they make a mistake, and worry about them when they are struggling, you do the same for yourself.

You might be someone who gets angry often, is easily irritated, and is immersed in negative thinking. Whenever negative thoughts arise, you might blame yourself by saying, “I guess I’m hopeless. I hate myself. I’m pathetic. I’m incompetent.” This is self-abuse.

“Today didn’t go well, but let’s try to be just 0.1 percent better tomorrow than today.”

Encourage yourself. Be kind to yourself. Have compassion. Recognize your vulnerability so you don’t sink too deeply into despair, and take care of yourself to create stability that can lead to positive changes in life.

Those who have compassion and kindness for themselves

also know how to show compassion to others.

They forgive others’ mistakes,

and respond flexibly even when others get angry or irritated.

- Park Sang-mi, “Depressed Minds Are Also Habits”, Evening Moon Publishing, 18,800 KRW