[The Era of Being Single] The Only Thing That Can't Be Changed Is a Professional Baseball Team

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"Choosing Non-Marriage and Decisions Can Change"

Editor's NoteIn a world where marriage is not mandatory, encountering those who choose to remain single is not an unfamiliar experience. Who chooses to remain single, and why? The issue is not only the societal prejudices surrounding singlehood. There also exists a vague admiration toward it. We examine the pros and cons of the so-called 'single life.'

Choi Hee, a broadcaster who gained popularity as the 'Baseball Goddess,' faced difficulties after declaring her choice to remain single. Six months after her declaration, news of her pregnancy and marriage surfaced. She was labeled a 'fake single advocate.' Criticism followed, accusing her of reversing her decision too easily.

Is singlehood a kind of belief that, once decided, cannot be undone? We live in a world where names, nationalities, and genders can be changed by personal will. The saying that the only thing you cannot (or hardly can) change once decided is your professional baseball team is worth pondering. So-called die-hard baseball fans often stick with their chosen team for life.

Even if they go decades without a championship, they end up loving that team no matter what. Because of this, there is a sympathetic view toward fans of certain teams. No one forces them, but a baseball team becomes intertwined with their life, continuing that bond for a lifetime. However, singlehood, declarations of singlehood, and favorable attitudes toward singlehood are not immutable.

On May 5, the opening day of the 2020 professional baseball season, the opening game between Doosan and LG was held without spectators at Jamsil Stadium in Seoul. The empty outdoor stands were filled with fans' cheering banners. Photo by Hyunmin Kim kimhyun81@

As a line from a certain movie says, "How can love change?" Some find it hard to accept changes in romantic feelings, but who can control another's changing heart? Another person's thoughts cannot be the same as one's own perception.

Differences in perspectives on singlehood. Misunderstandings, prejudices, and conflicts also begin there. Singlehood can be interpreted as simply not being married. Compared to being unmarried, singlehood reveals a more conscious awareness regarding the institution of marriage. In this context, declaring oneself a single advocate is often seen as a practice to express one's identity as single.

Single advocacy also shows certain differences from celibacy. Celibacy is closer to a belief system. Celibacy involves giving up or rejecting 'a life accompanied by someone,' such as dating, marriage, or cohabitation. This distinguishes celibates from single advocates who date. Singlehood is more fluid regarding views on marriage than celibacy.

Han Mo (39), working at a trading company in Busan, said, "I fully understand Choi Hee," and revealed that he himself chose marriage after being a single advocate. Han said, "Due to family financial circumstances, personality, and values, I lived as a single advocate but got married after my mid-thirties in 2019."

Broadcaster Choi Hee

He said, "As I passed 30, friends around me started getting married one by one. Back in university, being 30 meant being an old maid, but I didn't feel rushed," adding, "Naturally, I thought, 'I am a single advocate.'" He added, "At that time, the concept of single advocacy didn't exist, so I used to say I was celibate."

However, Han's environment changed, and so did his views on marriage. He said, "Seeing people around me getting married often seemed to bring some change in my values," and "Then I thought, 'What if I try dating?' In 2019, I was introduced to someone by chance, and my husband wanted to get married."

After less than a year of dating, Han succeeded in marriage. After a sweet newlywed life, last year they had a daughter who is the apple of their eye. He said, "These days, I live for the joy of seeing my child," and "If circumstances allow, I want to have a second child."

There are also cases of holding both dating and singlehood simultaneously. Lee Soo-min (25), a single advocate and office worker, has been dating a boyfriend six years older for over three years. Since her boyfriend is reaching marriageable age, marriage occasionally becomes a topic in their conversations. Each time, Lee firmly insists, "There will be no marriage." To avoid small arguments escalating, her boyfriend holds back his words.

MBC Drama 'Saengdongseong Yeonae'
[Photo by MBC]

Lee said, "When I was young, I often saw my parents fighting, which greatly influenced my choice to remain single," adding, "Money is an issue, but above all, watching my parents' troubled relationship made me resolve not to marry." She said, "My boyfriend is really kind and accommodating, but having witnessed my parents' conflicts for so long, I worry that the affectionate relationship might change after marriage."

Singlehood and celibacy are distinguishable concepts, but they share the commonality of pursuing a 'single' lifestyle. It is a variable decision that can change depending on one's circumstances and environment.

Professor Lim Woon-taek of the Department of Sociology at Keimyung University explained, "In fact, celibacy and singlehood have been practiced in the West for over 30 years," adding, "As our society becomes aged and faces low birth rates, it seems to be more quickly influenced by these lifestyle changes."

Professor Lim said, "Just as the saying goes, 'You can know the depth of water, but not the depth of a person's heart,' it is difficult to understand a person's inner feelings. Also, just as sexual preferences can change, choices and decisions about singlehood can always change, so declaring singlehood is one way to explain 'my current state.'"