[Vanishing Farewell] ① The Name Etched Deeply Over Seventy Years, Father

Around Age Three, Father Taken North and Separated
Passed Away After Reunion 56 Years Later... "I Wish to Visit His Grave"
Aging Survivors Critical... Yoon Administration's 'Last' Term

Editor's NoteIt has been 70 years since the sounds of war ceased on the Korean Peninsula, yet separated families still live with the wounds of lifelong separation. Every time the government changes, the policy toward North Korea fluctuates, turning once high hopes into swift disappointment. Meanwhile, the little child who lost his father's hand during the war has grown into an elderly man with deeply lined wrinkles. Through a story filled with resentment spanning over half a century, this article sheds light on the national task of 'Separated Families Reunion' and explores possible solutions.

Seventeen years ago, Mr. Park Young-sik (76) still vividly remembers that day. In March 2006, when the South-North separated families reunion was arranged, he headed north. He settled at the now-demolished Haegumgang Hotel and looked out the window to see North Korean separated family members disembarking from the bus. Among about 100 people all dressed alike, one particularly gaunt old man caught his eye. It was his 'father,' whom he had been separated from at the age of just three.

Mr. Park's father had brought a bundle of wild greens he had grown, a tablecloth, and even a scroll inscribed with 'Gahwamansaseong (家和萬事成)'?meaning 'Harmony in the family leads to success in everything.' Perhaps it was a father's heart wanting to give something to his son, who was left with nothing but parting memories. He also wrote down in detail the names of his half-siblings in the North, where they lived, and what they did.

Mr. Park Young-sik, a separated family member, is sharing family stories while showing a photo of his late father. Photo by Heo Young-han younghan@

The address book was surprisingly detailed. It was only after parting from his father that the son realized the heartfelt emotions pressed onto the coarse paper. Mr. Park said, "My father seemed to have sensed that that day would be their first and last meeting." The reunion after 56 years was followed by another indefinite farewell. Three years later, his father in the North and mother in the South passed away around the same time.

On the 7th, Mr. Park, whom we met at an office in Jongno-gu, Seoul, took out a faded black-and-white photo as he recalled his father. The thin father from his last memory remained as a young and healthy man in the photo. Mr. Park was born in a rural village in Yecheon-gun, Gyeongbuk, around 1947. When he was three years old in June 1950, North Korea launched an invasion, and as the People's Army advanced to the Nakdong River front, his father was abducted to the North. The little boy, who fled in his mother's arms, later learned that his father was a prisoner of war. [Related Article] 'Vanishing Farewell'

A Reunion Like a Miracle... The Father Became Stranger Than Longed For

A photo taken in 2006 at Mount Kumgang during the inter-Korean separated families reunion, showing Mr. Park Young-sik's father and mother together, which Mr. Park Young-sik, a separated family member, has kept.

A miraculous moment came into his life as well. Although he was disappointed after failing the lottery for the separated families reunion, his father, who had applied from the North, was selected. Thus, Mr. Park held his mother's hand and headed to Mount Kumgang. It was March 2006. He only shed tears endlessly, and even embracing the father he had dreamed of was not easy. Neither remembered each other’s appearance. Mr. Park recalled, "A stranger came holding a placard, and only then did I realize, 'That's my father.' Rather than joy, I felt dizzy as if hit on the head with a hammer."

The North Korean separated family members were stiff and tense during the pre-reunion training camp. They all wore the same blue-gray suits with the 'Kim Il-sung emblem' pinned on the left chest. During the 2 nights and 3 days, the time allotted to the separated families was only four hours per day to meet face to face. Just as they began to unravel stories accumulated over 56 years, the moment of parting arrived. Without time for a final farewell, the North Korean authorities put the residents on buses, and they had to say goodbye through the glass window, touching hands and sending their farewells only in their hearts.

Though Mr. Park was nearly sixty at the time, he was an unmistakable child in front of his father. He said, "I wished to sleep by my father's side even for one day, but that was impossible. The South side stayed at Haegumgang Hotel, and the North side at Kumgangsan Hotel." Amid the tearful reunion, there were also some humorous memories. Mr. Park said, "I brought my son to show him to my father, but North Korean residents saw his jeans and said, 'That comrade is wearing strange pants.' Later, when I received a letter from my half-brother, I learned that my father talked a lot about his grandson."

"Please Pay Attention to the Pain of Families of Abductees... Civil Exchanges Are Urgently Needed"

Mr. Park Young-sik, a separated family member, is sharing family stories while showing a photo taken with his father during the 2006 inter-Korean separated families reunion at Mount Kumgang. Photo by Heo Young-han younghan@

For Mr. Park, the pain of 'separation' is as bitter as it is. Until the military regime ended, he was viewed through tinted glasses as a family member of a 'North Korean' rather than a prisoner of war, leaving scars inflicted by society. There was a prevailing prejudice that families in the South would pass information to the North. Overcoming poverty meant going to college, but the Army Academy, which did not require tuition, did not accept him. He aimed to move to the city and passed the civil service exam, but he was never assigned a post and had to give up even that.

His mother’s wounds were also deep. As the wife of an abductee, she suffered silently all her life, fearing that a wrong word might harm her children. This is why Mr. Park hopes the government will look at 'families of abductees' at least once more. He said, "Instead of being comforted for the pain of separated families, I had to live under all kinds of persecution just because my father was in the North. Before it’s too late, I hope the government will provide even a small gathering place where the remaining separated families of abductees can share comfort together."

Mr. Park’s final wish is to visit his father’s grave in the North with other separated families who share the same pain. If official exchanges between governments are difficult, he hopes the government will support civil-level exchanges. Mr. Park said, "Since North Korea also values ancestors, I hope that if relations improve, they might at least open the way for us to visit graves. If I have the chance in the rest of my life, I want to bow at my father’s grave even just once. I sincerely wish for that," his eyes welling up with tears.

94% of Survivors Are in Their 60s or Older... Ministry of Unification Still 'Confirming Life or Death'

Status of Separated Families Applications

Status of Separated Family Survivors by Age Group

Like Mr. Park’s desperate wish, time is running out for separated families. According to the Ministry of Unification, as of last month, 133,676 separated families are registered with the government, but only 42,220 (31.6%) are still alive. In the past year alone, 3,647 have passed away. Among survivors, nearly 94.7% are elderly aged 60 or older, and even counting only those in their 80s and 90s, the figure reaches 67.8%. This is also why Minister of Unification Kwon Young-se, in his first briefing last July, mentioned that "Considering the aging issue, the five years of the Yoon Seok-youl administration are practically the last chance to resolve the separated families issue."

Recently, the Ministry of Unification announced the 4th Basic Plan for Promoting South-North Separated Families Exchange (2023?2025), proposing a 'comprehensive life and death confirmation' as a measure against aging. This means exchanging the full list of all survivors with the North. However, this remains a challenge that even the Moon Jae-in administration, which succeeded in arranging family reunions, could not solve. Moreover, since North Korea’s cooperation is essential, the general assessment is that the feasibility is low.