"Keep texting even though you know I have a boyfriend," victim complains
A woman in her 20s working as a teaching assistant at an academy posted online that she was gaslighted by a teenage student. / Photo by Yonhap News
[Asia Economy Reporter Lim Juhyung] A woman in her 20s working as a private academy instructor has claimed that she was subjected to 'gaslighting' by a teenage student. Gaslighting refers to the act of psychologically manipulating someone to make them feel anxious and gain control over them.
On the 25th, a post titled "A 15-year-old boy is gaslighting" was uploaded on an online community.
The author, who introduced herself as a woman in her 20s and a university student, stated, "I work as a teaching assistant at a private academy," and revealed, "A 15-year-old male student confessed to me last month, but I rejected him."
The problem began after she turned down the student's confession. She said, "Even though he knows I have a boyfriend, he keeps sending texts like 'Should I die?'" and "He also keeps showing me wounds, whether from self-harm or being hit."
She also shared text messages sent by the student. In their conversation, the student said, "In my 15.9 years of life, I've liked many people countless times, but this is the first time I've truly loved someone," to which she replied, "Stop texting me. If you keep sending messages, I will tell the academy teacher."
The student responded, "If you tell the academy teacher, my parents will find out too, then my mom will hit me and my dad will throw things." When she did not reply, the student sent messages like "I'll get hit again," "I bled last time I got hit," and "Couples with a 6-year age gap are common."
He continued, "I have a question. The academy teacher gave homework and told me to ask the teaching assistant if I didn't understand something," adding, "But you don't even answer my questions. I should just die."
When she told him, "I'll give you one last chance, so don't text me again," the student sent messages such as "Even if you quit the academy, I'll always wait for you," and "I'll go in front of your university and scream all night."
Eventually, she reported the messages to the academy and quit her job. Despite this, the student continued to send her text messages. He sent a photo that appeared to show injuries from being hit by his parents, saying, "You told them, right? But I still won't hate you, noona."
Regarding this, she said, "I haven't received an apology from his parents. I just stopped replying and won't bother getting an apology; I plan to change my phone," and added, "At first, I thought he was just a student who asked questions, so I didn't realize he was like this."
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse, a concept proposed in 2007 by American psychologist Robin Stern. It mainly occurs among people who frequently meet, such as family members, coworkers, or romantic partners, and involves manipulating the other's mind to create anxiety and strengthen control. For example, blaming the other person for bad things happening to oneself to induce guilt is also classified as gaslighting.
Meanwhile, netizens who read this story expressed concern for her, saying things like, "This is close to blackmail," and "It would be better to report to the police before it escalates to stalking or something worse."
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