[Lee Jong-gil's Autumn Return] After a Big Fight and Breakup, He Did It to Survive Too

Ryu Seung-yeon 'Words of Consideration'

"We casually skim through a few clues and believe we can easily see into another person's heart. We eagerly seize the opportunity to judge strangers. Of course, we never do this to ourselves. We see ourselves as subtle, complex, and unfathomable. But we think strangers are easy to understand."

This is the view expressed by management thinker Malcolm Gladwell in his book The Interpretation of Others. He cited various cases and said that to get closer to the truth, we must first break the assumption that 'it is true.' He proposed three main concrete methods.

▲Adopting an attitude that acknowledges we do not know how to approach strangers and are terribly poor at interpreting their answers ▲Not jumping to conclusions immediately upon seeing a stranger ▲Making an effort to consider the context rather than just the content when conversing with a stranger.

Professor Kim Kyung-il of the Department of Psychology at Ajou University, who wrote the foreword for The Interpretation of Others, cited the most impressive passage as "The correct way to approach a stranger is cautiously and humbly," and wrote the following: "If we do not know how to properly talk to strangers and the conversation goes wrong, what do we do? We blame the stranger."

Words of Consideration accepts such insights by tracing them as traces of life. The author, Ryu Seung-yeon, wanted to be a kind person with pure goodwill. She wanted to empathize with others' thoughts and speak and act accordingly. But upon realizing that others do not always perceive this as consideration, she began to ponder what true consideration really is.

The author deeply reflects on what it means to see from another’s perspective and what constitutes kind but inconsiderate behavior by recalling specific situations. This self-reflection is also part of understanding her son with developmental disabilities. A beloved child who looks adorable even when misbehaving. Upon seeing such a son's charm, someone once said, "He’s just trying to survive..." The author was speechless but thought, 'That might be true.'

"Born as twins, parents who originally expected a daughter likely favored the older sister. Moreover, the son has developmental disabilities. To survive in his environment, he had no choice but to adopt a cute, charming persona! Whether intentional or not, he instinctively equipped himself with the necessary tools for survival."

Perhaps our appearances are the best choices we have made to survive in our respective environments. Friends who have become distant, ex-lovers, or someone we find unbearable?if we think they have become that way to survive, we can no longer easily judge everything. Instead, we understand their struggles and gain the grace to be considerate.

However, not many people have such an attitude. They try to help or care but are clumsy and awkward. Still, we cannot avoid facing strangers. Most beautiful and meaningful things in the world begin boldly by talking to others. Opening our hearts and accepting new people and experiences is the first step.

The author is very interested in deepening all relationships and growing herself within them. After constantly thinking about what kind of heart to have and how to use it, she tries to understand others and situations rather than simply having a good heart. She sees the attitude of listening attentively to others’ stories as the starting point of consideration. Perhaps it is the basic courtesy we have forgotten.

"Why have we become so stingy that listening to the stories of our beloved father, mother, grandfather, and grandmother is such a difficult task? How did we come to display youthful arrogance in front of our elderly parents? After all, the way my parents are now will likely be how I will be in the future."