"We Were All Someone's 'Lover'... A Belated Apology That Moved Millennials and Gen Z [Slate]"

A Self-Portrait of Those Who Ran Away Out of Insecurity
A "Good Breakup" Is Harder Than a Reunion Fantasy
Proving That Failed Love Is Also a Life Experience

Still cut from the movie "If We"

Does a "good breakup" really exist in this world? Most failed relationships end after both people hit rock bottom, leaving behind wounds that can never fully heal. The memories of love evaporate, and only the bitterness of harsh words and misery in the final moments remains. That is why we always feel like sinners when we look back on past loves.

The unexpected box office resurgence of the film "If We," starring Koo Kyohwan and Moon Gayoung, even surpassing Hollywood blockbusters like "Avatar: The Way of Water," is rooted in this overwhelming sense of emotional debt.

The movie depicts the harsh reality of youth for whom even love is a luxury due to poverty. However, what truly breaks the audience’s heart comes elsewhere. After ten years apart, the two protagonists reunite and exchange greetings-calmly, but with their true feelings carefully contained. For viewers, this becomes a belated apology and confession to a former love-something they always wished to say, but never could.

Still cut from the movie "If We"

The breakup between Eunho (Koo Kyohwan) and Jungwon (Moon Gayoung) mirrors our own experiences almost exactly. It is not a grand tragedy. Rather, it is simply that one feels too inadequate, pushes the other away out of insecurity, and runs from the relationship. Crushed by the weight of reality, they cannot even properly say "let’s break up," and things just fade away.

In real life, that would have been the end. Usually, relationships end in miserable silence, unilateral severance, or with parting words that leave permanent scars. But the film brings these two back together at the same table after a decade apart.

This is the turning point where a realistic narrative leaps into the realm of fantasy. It does not devolve into a clich? fairy tale, such as marrying into wealth. Instead, the focus is on forgiving each other’s youthful mistakes and putting a true period on their story. The main themes are self-reflection-"Back then, I was too young, and you were too good for me"-and gratitude-"Thank you for enduring me."

Such confessions expand into a ritual of reconciliation, forgiving one’s immature self and belatedly wishing the other well. Because this is so difficult in reality, it offers powerful psychological comfort to those who live with a sense of debt to past loves. Memories of ruin that once ate away at each other are finally restored as precious pages that supported one’s life. Therefore, the title "If We" should not be read as a clinging hypothetical, but as a mature declaration: "Now, I can truly let you go."

Still cut from the movie "If We"

This sense of closure also offers deep comfort. A failed relationship does not mean a failed life. In fact, those painful, immature times were not wasted; those imperfect fragments have layered together to make us stronger.

Ultimately, director Kim Doyoung uses the guise of romance to tell a story of personal growth. Love is the clearest mirror through which we see ourselves reflected in another. The belated "thank you" to a lover from ten years ago may, in truth, be more like a handshake of reconciliation offered to oneself for surviving those difficult years.