[A Sip of a Book] Through Encounters, We Become Truly Ourselves

Editor's NoteSome sentences encapsulate the entire content of a book, while others immediately resonate with readers, creating a connection with the book. Here, we introduce such meaningful sentences, excerpted from books.

Is what we call 'love' truly a feeling directed toward others, or is it a projection of our own lack or desires? The authors do not see love as a means of merging with or completing another person, but rather redefine it as a relationship where the boundaries between oneself and others are respected and coexistence is possible. Drawing from psychoanalysis, philosophy, and theology, the two authors view love as a fundamental thirst of human existence, and offer a perspective that allows us to reconsider love amid the repeated conflicts and fatigue of relationships.

I have a solitude that I alone must bear, and he has a solitude of his own. Only when we acknowledge our own 'aloneness,' and the uniqueness of our existence, can we truly say, "It is not good for man to be alone." I am a unique being just as I am. Therefore, before becoming two, we must first acknowledge being one. Before revealing myself to someone and merging as one with them. -p.37

Is it possible to love someone as if they are a complete other? If I love him as another self, am I not, in the end, loving him as someone identical to myself? As if he is 'another half of myself'? -p.45

Only then can we better understand that to 'know' someone else is to come to know someone unknown, and to come to know the divine. -p.55

When a person meets another, it is through that encounter that they become truly themselves. -p.59

The word 'love' takes on another meaning. Love now means not eros, but 'union.' The union of two free souls, two subjects. The two no longer remain at the level of complementarity. They do not exist to fill each other's lack. Each is a complete subject in their own right. In the relationship between these two free souls, something sacred or unknown is revealed. This is not dependent love or seductive love, but a union that bears fruit. -pp.59-60

However, in reality, men and women who fall passionately in love often lament and suffer. This is because they are not truly 'in love.' They seek outside themselves for the love they lack. What they pursue is the fantasy of love. Do they even know what it is they are looking for? If two thirsty people meet, can they become the spring of water they have both been searching for? -p.269

If I can exist without you, I no longer need you just to 'feel' alive. I am myself whether I am with you or not. Yet, when I am with you, I feel even more myself. It is not a necessity to be with you, but a desire to be with you. I desire you, because you are you. -p.270

To become two is not merely to face each other and expect to be loved by the other. To become two is an act of love filled with inspiration, an act that continuously lifts each other up and allows us to discover new versions of ourselves. -p.323

Who is the one I love when I love someone? | Catherine Bengsade et al. | Yeolrimwon | 332 pages | 19,000 won