"Belief That 'Average-Looking Partners Will Treat You Better' Fuels Expectations"
Experts Express Concern... "Rooted in Fear of Failure"
Recently, it has been reported that among Millennials & Gen Z in the United States (born between 1980 and 2004), a trend of deliberately dating someone they are not attracted to is rapidly emerging.
Among Millennials and Gen Z, a trend of deliberately dating someone they are not attracted to is rapidly emerging. Pexels.
According to recent reports by the New York Post and other outlets, a new dating slang called "Shrekking" is quickly spreading across social networking services (SNS) in the United States and other English-speaking countries, establishing itself as a keyword that explains the dating styles and expectations of the younger generation.
Shrekking originates from the 2001 animated film "Shrek." In the movie, the main character, the ogre Shrek, finds happiness with Princess Fiona, regardless of appearances. In this context, Shrekking refers to the expectation that dating someone you are not physically attracted to will result in being treated like a princess, reflecting a belief that inner qualities will lead to better treatment in relationships.
As this cartoon-like mindset spreads among Millennials & Gen Z, related posts and stories are going viral on SNS. In particular, many have shared their own experiences, saying, "I ended up getting hurt after dating someone I wasn't attracted to." As a result, the phrase "Getting Shrekked" has also emerged.
Experts have expressed concern about this phenomenon. Amy Chan, author of the relationship recovery self-help book "Breakup Bootcamp" and a relationship coach, warned, "Expecting that a partner with average looks will automatically treat you better can actually backfire."
She emphasized, "The essence of a relationship lies in personality, values, and emotional maturity," and pointed out, "The illusion that lowering your standards for appearance will guarantee better treatment only reinforces superficial beauty standards."
Among Millennials and Gen Z, a trend of deliberately dating someone they are not attracted to is rapidly emerging. Pexels.
Additionally, she advised those who have experienced Shrekking to "identify non-negotiable standards that have nothing to do with appearance." She added, "While looks can be an important factor in dating, they should never be treated as a bargaining chip for 'good treatment.'"
Relationship expert Emma Hatton also stated, "Someone who treats you poorly is not attractive, regardless of their appearance," and added, "Meeting someone who shares similar values is the real standard for finding genuine attraction."
She further advised, "Dating someone different from your usual type may stem from a fear of failure," and emphasized, "A serious relationship finds true appeal in sharing personality and goals, beyond just physical appearance."
© The Asia Business Daily(www.asiae.co.kr). All rights reserved.
