50-Year-Old DINK Woman Shares Her Story Online
"At Some Point, I Started to Feel Empty"... Expresses the Loneliness of Life
DINKs Post About "Regret" and "No Regrets"
A post by a middle-aged woman who has lived happily as part of the DINK (Dual Income, No Kids) generation but ultimately regrets not having children has become a hot topic among internet users.
On April 24, a post from an anonymous community spread across social networking services (SNS). The author, who identified herself as 50 years old, shared her story: "I entered society after experiencing the IMF crisis and felt the passion of youth while walking the streets during the 2002 World Cup. I got married, and in the early days of marriage, life felt just like a drama."
Ms. A, who chose not to have children and opted for a dual-income lifestyle, said it might have been because she realized the burden of supporting a family while going through the IMF crisis. While her friends worried about raising children and housing prices, she and her husband traveled abroad and stayed at hotels for every anniversary. After work on weekdays, they enjoyed cultural activities. Whenever concerns about childbirth and parenting arose, they comforted each other.
Ms. A said that upon turning fifty, she began to feel a sense of emptiness. Although she believed she was living well in her own way, she wrote, "At some point, I started to feel empty." She continued, "After gatherings, when my friends get up saying, 'I have to go pick up my son,' or when someone smiles at a message from their daughter, I quietly put down my phone. No one calls for me. I have never been anyone's mother, nor have I ever been anyone's concern." She added, "Recently, on my birthday, my niece sent a single emoji in the group chat saying, 'Happy birthday~.' There was a time when I received a birthday meal and picked out cakes, but now, I just have to be content with doing things alone for myself. Even when I tell myself it's okay, my heart keeps growing quieter."
Ms. A confessed, "Back then, I loved the freedom. Now, what lingers deep in my heart is the ache of never having truly loved or taken responsibility for someone." She shared her loneliness in entering middle age without children.
Many posts asking for opinions about the DINK lifestyle have been uploaded to online communities. One user wrote, "Next year, I'll be 50, and I've been married for 13 years as part of the DINK generation, but I still feel like we're dating and having fun. Some people call it a boring paradise, but I can't agree." Other DINKs responded, "It's better because I can be free from social relationships," and "It's boring, but it's the life I wanted," expressing their agreement.
On the other hand, there were also voices of regret similar to Ms. A's story. Another user said, "I'm in my mid-forties and have been married for 13 years. I don't regret the DINK decision, but when I see families with children, they look happy. I wasn't interested at all before, but as I get older, I feel differently," and added, "If you even slightly feel like you want to have children now, there's a high chance you'll regret it later."
Due to changing values and the trend of low birth rates, the number of DINK households is increasing. According to statistics released by Statistics Korea, among 815,357 newlywed couples who had been married for less than five years and registered their marriage in 2022, DINK couples accounted for 28.7% (234,066 couples), the highest ever recorded. This is a significant increase from 18.0% in 2015.
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