[Book Sip] Preparing for Dying Alone: "You Must Be Thoroughly Ready"

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According to Statistics Korea, as of 2023, single-person households accounted for more than 35% of all households in the country. With projections that the proportion of single-person households will soon exceed 50%, the issue of "solitary death" is emerging as a serious social concern. The death of a single-person household is an issue independent of age. Elderly people living alone, those who choose not to marry, and young people alike are not free from the risk of natural death, unexpected accidents, or illness. The author, who faced death after developing a rare and incurable autoimmune disease following the birth of her second child, devised an "ending map" for dying alone and included these insights in her book. She introduces the idea that preparing for "dying alone" is no different from contemplating how to live together with others.

For single-person households, even if one wishes to plan for accidents or the end of life in advance and hopes for a dignified final journey, it is often difficult to find someone to discuss or help with these matters. Even those with cohabiting family members find the process chaotic, and for those living alone, the challenges are even greater. Who will accompany me on my final journey? If I can design my end-of-life process in advance and trust that it will be carried out as planned after my death, wouldn't I be able to plan the remainder of my life more stably and live it more fully? Now is the time for Korea to pay attention to the lives of single-person households. In fact, with the explosive increase in single-person households, it is something we must do. If we do not start now, we may find ourselves, like the real-life cases described above, rushing clumsily toward death. <pp. 32-33>

Let us compare three cases: an 80-year-old elderly person living alone with zero income and assets, Ms. Yeonsu who falls into the "welfare blind spot," and a freelancer with an irregular monthly income of about 800,000 won. Who truly represents the reality of a single-person household? We must recognize that those who genuinely need the support of the national system may be elderly people living in studio apartments, but they may also be ordinary young people or middle-aged workers passing by on the street. It is time to reconsider what we may be overlooking. <p. 88>

People living alone, regardless of the reasons for forming a single-person household, must be prepared to look after and care for themselves. Because the frequency of communication with others, including family, is inevitably lower both physically and absolutely, feelings of loneliness and depression are bound to arise. If you are vulnerable to such negative emotions, before making countermeasures, you must first naturally recognize and accept your susceptibility to loneliness and depression. Just as the saying "ten people, ten colors" suggests, everyone is different. Before reinforcing negative emotions by thinking "why only me," those living alone should accept loneliness as a lifelong companion, like a friend. Even those with family or housemates have plenty of stories of loneliness. Instead of searching only for reasons to feel unhappy, let us look for reasons why we can be happier than we are now. Living alone is not a penalty imposed on you. It is simply one of many possible ways of life. <p. 99>

Looking at Denmark, which leads the way in communal housing through cohousing, and Japan, which entered a super-aged society before Korea, it is now time to propose new solutions and models for Korea. It is time to design your own ending map, overcoming fear, and to establish this practice within individuals and communities. We must no longer neglect the deaths of single-person households under the tragic label of "solitary death." Life continues on the premise of death, and for those who realize that humans are like mortal dust drifting in the vast universe, it is time to create your own ending map. I believe that only those who live with an awareness of death can enjoy a richer life. <p. 207>

Prepare Yourself Thoroughly for Dying Alone | Written by Seo Yunmi | Secret House | 232 pages | 18,000 won