[How about this book] "Let's do it!" You are stronger than pain

Phil Stutz and Barry Michaels, "The World is Pain. But You Are Stronger Than Pain"
The safe zone can actually threaten your life
Facing pain transforms anxiety into fighting spirit
Protect yourself with courage, acceptance, freedom, tranquility, and perseverance

DALL-E 3

"Familiar anxiety is better than unfamiliar pleasure." This is a phrase that resonates with people who are sensitive and easily fall into anxiety. For them, challenges and changes feel like pain, leading them to choose familiar anxiety instead. Familiar anxiety acts as a safe zone for them. Phil Stutz, a psychiatrist famous as a psychological counselor for Hollywood celebrities, points out in this book that the safe zone actually threatens life. He says, "The safe zone does not make life safe; rather, it gradually narrows the scope of life."

As the book title, The World is Pain. But You Are Stronger Than Pain, suggests, pain stands before every achievement in the world. To achieve success, one must endure and pass through pain, but many people settle for reality while accepting losses. At this time, they also regard the loss as the price to avoid pain.

The author proposes ‘desire inversion’ as a solution to overcome the universal human desire to avoid pain. He recommends applying a ‘tool’ to realize this. First, focus on the ‘painful’ targets such as a phone call you want to postpone, pressure about performance, or boring tasks. Then face that pain and imagine confronting it as if it were an approaching thundercloud. Approaching it with a mindset of "Since it’s come to this, let’s try it" transforms anxiety into fighting spirit. The author explains, "How you respond to pain changes the way you experience it."

The power to face pain is very strong. Viktor Frankl testified that this attitude toward pain helped him survive the Nazi concentration camps for Jews. However, the important point is to acknowledge that an individual’s goals and the goals demanded by the world may differ. Frankl emphasized, "What we expect from life is not that important. What is more important is what life expects from us."

‘Active love’ is effective in diluting pain. Emotions may seem unchangeable, but in fact, even a small shock can cause cracks. External stimuli like love instantly transform negative emotions, including anger. Just as being full creates leisure, positive stimuli generate more positivity. The author gives an example from his childhood when he harbored hatred toward his father due to conflicts during a car trip, but his heart opened when he found a lost puppy. He recalls, "Love for the scared and pitiful puppy enveloped my whole body," and "Suddenly, it felt as if the axis of the universe shifted. Amazingly, my hatred toward my father disappeared."

Why do many people easily fall into anxiety and have difficulties in relationships with others? Many feel stiff and unnatural in speech and behavior when standing in front of others, falling into self-loathing. The author analyzes that anxiety lies at the root of these symptoms. Everyone has a ‘shadow’ that embodies their negative aspects, and in the process of hiding it, their true self is also concealed. So how can anxiety be relieved? The author advises imagining yourself standing in front of an audience and thinking that your shadow is watching you from a little distance. Focus on the shadow, feel a deep bond, and become one with it. He explains, "Only when you feel a unity with your shadow can your inner self be expressed. Mastering this tool allows you to freely express yourself even in situations where you were previously frozen."

The author advises protecting yourself in an uncertain world through five tools: courage, acceptance, freedom, tranquility, and perseverance. At the beginning of the book, he mentions cases where conventional clinical prescriptions did not greatly help suffering individuals, and throughout the book, he provides practical solutions. Whether you want to overcome shyness, become someone who can ask for help when needed, or overcome a creative slump, the book offers effective solutions to questions many people wonder about.

This is the first book by Dr. Phil Stutz, the protagonist of the Netflix documentary Stutz that became a hot topic. "Knowing the cause alone changes nothing." A client’s remark that they did not want to waste time and money just to hear the cause of their anxiety shocked the author deeply, and this book is the result of that shock and reflection. Various cases of overcoming pain and practical methods provide readers with deep insight and real help.