"My Cousin Who Sexually Abused Me as a Child Still Hasn't Apologized as an Adult"

"Have you started your wolgyeong?" Unpleasant physical contact
No apology... brazen attitude
Frequent secondary harm in kin sexual crimes

Photo unrelated to the article. Source=Pixabay

A story has emerged about a woman who experienced family discord due to sexual harassment committed by her cousin during elementary school.

JTBC's 'Case Captain' reported on the 9th about Ms. A, who was sexually harassed by her cousin during childhood but was unable to properly resolve the issue and kept it buried. According to the report, 12 years ago when Ms. A was in the 4th grade of elementary school, she went to the countryside during a holiday to meet relatives. Ms. A was alone in a room watching TV when her cousin, who was a middle school boy, sneaked up and put his arm around her shoulder.

He asked unpleasant questions such as "Have you started menstruating?" and "Do you have a boyfriend?" Not only that, he continued unwanted physical contact by tightly holding her hand and touching her stomach. Ms. A said she did not like it, but her cousin ignored her and continued the harassment, saying, "It's because I think you're cute."

Two years later, the cousin lured Ms. A, who was then in the 6th grade of elementary school, by promising to buy her ice cream. He took her to a secluded alley with few people around and suddenly said, "I'll carry you," forcibly putting Ms. A on his back. Ms. A expressed discomfort, saying, "At that time, I was already going through secondary sexual characteristics," and "I felt as if he was touching my buttocks while carrying me." Even though she kept telling him to stop, her cousin just laughed and ignored her words.

Unable to endure it any longer, Ms. A confided in her parents. Enraged, her parents went to her uncle's house and scolded the cousin, saying, "Are you even human?" and "How could you touch your younger cousin like that?" At that time, the cousin could not say anything and just lowered his head, but instead, the aunt showed a brazen attitude, saying, "Why are you scolding the precious eldest son of another family?" Eventually, Ms. A's father and uncle, who are brothers, had a major quarrel with insults exchanged. Ms. A's family thought the uncle's family would apologize someday but never received any contact. From then on, Ms. A's family cut ties with the uncle's family.

Years later, other relatives advised, "The uncle's family regrets what happened and thinks they were wrong, so you should reconcile now." Even the elderly grandmother said, "Stop worrying me and get along well from now on," so Ms. A's family resumed contact with the main family. Although Ms. A still harbored resentment toward her cousin, she tried to forget it for the sake of family relations.

However, last year at the grandmother's 80th birthday gathering, an argument broke out again. At that time, the cousin announced, "I am getting married next year," and the uncle boasted, "My son graduated from a prestigious university and a major company, and is marrying an elementary school teacher." In response, Ms. A's father retorted, "What is there to boast about a sexual offender?" which enraged the uncle, who said, "How dare you call my son a sexual offender?"

Currently, the relatives are reportedly divided into Ms. A's side and the uncle's side. The uncle's side claims, "At that time, the cousin was young and was just teasing and joking, so why treat him like a criminal?" However, Ms. A's side stated, "If they admit now that 'I did commit sexual harassment' and apologize, we will consider whether to forgive them or not."

Attorney Yang Ji-yeol said, "There is no statute of limitations for sexual crimes committed against minor relatives," adding, "No matter how long ago it happened, the victim remembers it clearly." Attorney Park Sang-hee also explained, "When family or relatives turn the blame onto the female victim, it becomes secondary victimization." Lastly, Attorney Park Ji-hoon added, "This is obviously a problematic situation," and "It is hard to understand why they still do not admit guilt."

Netizens who came across the case responded with comments such as, "Sexual crimes are often committed by someone close rather than strangers," "It's truly despicable that there was no apology," and "Relatives who defend the uncle's family are also committing secondary victimization."