[Sunday Culture] "10 Times Higher Than Korea"... Japanese Wedding Gift Money Starting from 300,000 Won

Emphasis on 'Ipjeok' Marriage Registration Over Ceremony
Few Guests... Congratulations Start from 30,000 Yen

As the weather cools down and the skies become clearer, it seems that these days I am receiving a lot more wedding invitations.

Listening to the wedding news of my Korean and Japanese friends posted on social networking services (SNS), I realized that the cultures are quite different, so I decided to organize my thoughts. Today, I will share some stories about weddings in Japan.

Traditional Japanese Wedding.

First, in Korea, wedding news is usually announced through wedding invitations and the wedding ceremony itself. So in Korea, people say "We are getting married!" but in Japan, it is more common to say "I have entered the family register (入籍, Ny?seki)."

Ny?seki in Japan generally means the official marriage registration. Originally, Ny?seki referred to entering one’s name into an existing family register, and strictly speaking, Ny?seki registration is necessary when a person with children remarries and moves their children from their original family register to the spouse’s family register.

However, in Japan, Ny?seki is used in a meaning similar to marriage. Especially for first marriages, people submit marriage registration documents rather than Ny?seki registration, but commonly, it is still referred to as Ny?seki registration.

Why is this the case? It is said that Japan’s patriarchal system influenced this. Since the woman enters the man’s family and takes his surname, this image became firmly established.

So usually, after completing the Ny?seki procedure, the wedding ceremony is held. This is somewhat different from Korea, where the marriage registration is done either together with the wedding ceremony or after the ceremony. Many couples think of the period between Ny?seki and the wedding ceremony as about six months. Also, the wedding anniversary is often celebrated on the day of the Ny?seki procedure.

The biggest cultural difference is felt in the matter of congratulatory money (chugui-geum). In Korea, it is important to 'pay money' by giving congratulatory money to friends at the wedding, or just giving money and leaving, or just eating the meal. The amounts are often 30,000 won, 50,000 won, or 100,000 won. Wedding invitations are widely distributed, starting with mobile invitations, and the number of guests is usually around 200.

Japan is a bit different. According to Japanese wedding companies, the average number of guests is about 65, which feels like inviting only very close people.

Although the number of guests is small, the congratulatory money is basically about ten times that of Korea. According to a wedding congratulatory money price list created by Japan’s UFJ Bank, 30,000 yen is typical for friends, workplace superiors, colleagues, and subordinates. This is roughly equivalent to about 300,000 won. The 30,000 yen amount is fixed because 10,000 yen represents congratulations, and 20,000 yen corresponds to the cost of the wedding meal and gifts.

For siblings or relatives, it can go up to 50,000 to 60,000 yen, and for a beloved student getting married, the congratulatory money from the teacher is about 37,000 yen. It is really expensive.

Because of this culture, I was almost shocked when I heard that a Japanese acquaintance invited to a Korean wedding gave 500,000 won as congratulatory money and left. I also asked that they definitely come to my wedding someday.

The way congratulatory money is given is also a bit different. In Korea, people usually withdraw cash and put it into a white envelope prepared at the venue. In Japan, people purchase special envelopes for congratulatory money and put the money inside. The color of the envelope and the knot tied on it vary slightly depending on the occasion. The knot used for celebrations is tied outside the envelope when handing it over.

Example of a Japanese congratulatory money envelope. (Photo by NIWAKA website)

There is also a slight difference between Japan and Korea regarding wedding anniversaries. Koreans tend to value the wedding day more, but in Japan, the Ny?seki date is definitely preferred.

Because of this, some people deliberately choose meaningful dates for Ny?seki. For example, March 14 is chosen by many because it symbolizes the infinite and continuous pi, and couples promise eternal love by making it their Ny?seki and anniversary date. Also, November 22 is chosen by some couples because in Japanese it is pronounced 'ii (良い)' and 'fuufu (ふうふ)', meaning a good couple.

Above all, the most important thing is the two people starting their new life together. Although the methods and forms differ, the heart to celebrate a new beginning seems to be the same in every country.