The author says that since the advent of the internet, people have noticeably increased their talking. With face-to-face human conversations supplemented by social network dialogues, there is no moment of silence anymore. The author points out that OTT content also leads people with unfiltered 'noise.' The author emphasizes that we all need to 'shut our mouths' to escape this noise. This is not about digital detox. The author says the benefits of the 'attitude of swallowing words' on our lives are immense. Listing advantages such as increased creativity, enhanced attractiveness, promotions at work, and higher negotiation success rates, the author introduces ways to 'quietly win' by keeping silent.
![[A Sip of a Book] The Power of Silence](https://cphoto.asiae.co.kr/listimglink/1/2023092711013291703_1695780093.jpg)
I'm saying this as a friend, so please don't misunderstand. I really wish you would just shut your mouth. Not for my sake, but for yours. Learning to shut your mouth changes your life. You will become smarter, more popular, more creative, and stronger. It might even help you live longer. Speaking less increases your chances of promotion at work and winning negotiations. If you speak with intention?that is, if you don't blurt out just anything but speak thoughtfully?your relationships improve, and you can become a better parent. Furthermore, you can fully enjoy mental and physical happiness. - p.9, from "Introduction: We Talk Too Much"
Armed with various theories, advice, and exercises, I developed and began practicing 'Five Ways to Shut Your Mouth.' I regarded these methods as daily exercises. I almost quit social media. Even though it was uncomfortable to hear no sound, I trained myself to get used to such situations. (Omitted) Over time, I exercised more self-control, and something amazing happened. I felt better mentally and physically. I felt happier. I treated people more kindly. They treated me better too. Life became easier. - p.52, from "Chapter 1: Why You Talk Too Much"
With the advent of the internet, the ways we communicate have become more diverse than ever. We constantly talk using these methods. How many apps that allow communication with people do you have installed on your phone? How many inboxes do you check? Basically, you check your work email, personal email, and text message inboxes. Besides these, you might check Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, WhatsApp, Telegram, Slack, or Signal. There are so many popular apps. (Omitted) When we are not talking, we are consuming something. We absorb information pouring out like water from a fire hose. But that information is nothing more than noise cleverly packaged. - p.61, from "Chapter 2: This World Needs to Shut Up Too"
"Social media has taken the place of cigarettes. Social media is the drug of the 21st century," said British author Simon Sinek bluntly. In fact, social media has been found to be far more addictive than cigarettes. Moreover, social media companies have become similar to large tobacco companies that sell harmful products, target children as customers, and conceal scientific research that could harm their business. Companies like Facebook repeatedly urge you to talk excessively. That is their business model. They make money by selling ads, and the more ads they show you, the more money they make. - p.97, from "Chapter 3: Let's Pause Social Media"
Men talk too much and try to persuade others. Men bulldoze through and don't give others a chance to speak. Men try to teach women, interrupt, and dominate conversations alone. At our house, we call such behaviors 'Dad talking alone,' and one reason I practice shutting my mouth is to fix such bad habits. Men are especially unpleasant at work. They behave very rudely even to the world's most outstanding and influential women, including female Supreme Court justices and the United States' female Chief Technology Officers (CTOs). I once saw my wife being harassed by a man during a Q&A session after her conference presentation. He acted as if he were her superior, interrupted her occasionally, and didn't give her a chance to speak. He even shouted. When I told my wife how furious I was later, she said, "You still don't get it? This happens to women all the time!" - pp.119-120, from "Chapter 4: Men Who Interrupt and Only Talk About Themselves"
About 30 minutes of moderate exercise a day helps maintain health. Walking 10,000 steps and sleeping eight hours a day would have the same effect. But changing the way you speak might be just as important. Speaking with clear intention, listening more, staying silent, and (as explained in more detail in this chapter) changing the words you use can reduce the likelihood of anxiety, depression, and inflammatory diseases. Above all, shutting your mouth has medical benefits. - p.145, from "Chapter 5: The Excellent Effects of Shutting Your Mouth"
Business is changing. Work is changing. Companies that did business the old way were noisy. They advertised, created slogans, and spread messages worldwide. Back then, making noise, boasting, badmouthing competitors, and spouting nonsense were the most important things in business. Employees were the same. They built their own brands, widely promoted their talents to bosses and the world, and sought attention on social media. The emergence of new businesses turned the tables. Now, instead of bombarding customers with messages to persuade them to buy products, companies listen to customers and find out what they need. When developing products, collaboration, repeated experiments, quick failures, and learning from mistakes are important. - p.177, from "Chapter 6: Shutting Your Mouth at Work"
The child is sixteen years old, a high school sophomore. I wanted to solve problems for my child. As I always did before, I wanted to tell them how to do their assignments. Curious about how it went before? The more I tried to help, the angrier the child became. This time, I tried a different approach. I shut my mouth and sat down. I only listened to what the child said and reassured myself to trust that the child would solve the problem on their own. It was painful. The child seemed caught in a wheel of anxiety, and the more they spoke, the worse the situation became. The chatterbox trapped inside me desperately wanted to be released. But I resolved not to intervene. - p.213, from "Chapter 7: Shutting Your Mouth at Home"
We met various counselors for years and received couples counseling, but it was of no help to us. In fact, the more my wife and I talked, the worse our relationship became. What we really needed to do was to reduce talking and live 'a bit like a deaf person,' heeding the advice of the late Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Using this method, Ginsburg and her husband Martin enjoyed a perfect marriage that most of us only dream of. It was an excellent way to maintain a marriage where love never fades even as they aged together. In her words, it was "an unparalleled 56-year marriage partnership." Living a bit like a deaf person helps, and living a bit like a mute person also helps. But since you can't forcibly stop yourself from speaking, you simply cannot prevent your thoughts from suddenly spilling out. - p.253, from "Chapter 8: Shutting Your Mouth with Loved Ones"
Bezos and Wintour use silence not to gain power but to maintain it. They already have everything they need. They also know well the important fact that silence is power and power is silence. Opening your mouth wastes power. Starting with a fully charged battery, every word you speak drains a bit of your power. "Powerful people speak less to make a deep impression and intimidate others." Bestselling author Robert Greene emphasizes this in his guidebook, The 48 Laws of Power, which teaches how to wield power to your advantage. "The more you talk, the more ordinary you appear." Look at the third law he presents: "Conceal your intentions." And the fourth: "Say less than necessary." - p.281, from "Chapter 9: Silence Is Powerful"
Fifteen people who desperately want to become CEOs like Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg pay a hefty $10,000 to undergo three days of training at a boot camp run by Jerry Colonna. Colonna is an executive coach who has worked with very famous people in Silicon Valley and is sometimes called the 'CEO trainer' or 'Yoda master of Silicon Valley.' Long ago, Colonna was a successful venture capitalist, but one day he suddenly went on a two-week vision quest. Wandering naked in the Utah desert without food, he returned a completely different person. He left Wall Street, moved to Boulder, embraced Buddhism, and reinvented himself as a master and shaman teaching Silicon Valley giants how to connect with their emotions and communicate. During the three-day training led by Colonna, the 15 participants will confess their hidden fears and shame and end up sobbing. But the main reason they came here is to learn how to shut up and listen. Most cannot naturally acquire this skill. Entrepreneurs and CEOs are terrible at listening to others. - p.319, from "Chapter 10: Now Listen, You Must"
The Power of Shutting Your Mouth | Written by Dan Lyons | Translated by Seo Eun-kyung | HanbitBiz | 388 pages | 19,500 KRW
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