[How About This Book] 'Bugo' Is Not an Adult Memorial Article... It Should Contain Life, Not Just a Tribute

In British and American Newspapers, the Professional Reporter System
Not a Beautiful Memory or List of Achievements
But an Honest Life Story of One Person
What They Tried to Achieve, Reasons, and Whether They Succeeded

"Obituaries published in America's top newspapers have evolved from tedious lists of achievements, honors, and praises from friends into vivid ‘mini-biographies’ that convey the life stories of diverse individuals without regard to social recognition or gender."

The author of this book is a specialist obituary reporter for The Wall Street Journal. Although this title is unfamiliar in Korea, in the English-speaking world, where it was recognized early on that obituaries can be as engaging a form of gossip entertainment as crime news or sports reports, specialist reporters have been active. Unlike domestic media, which briefly report funeral information after death unless the deceased is famous, separate obituary sections are prepared to convey the deceased’s story in detail. Since anyone who cannot escape death can become the subject of an obituary, the author advises preparing one in advance during one’s lifetime. He recommends not entrusting your obituary to family members who will likely ruin it, as no one knows you better than yourself. The book contains content supporting such guidelines.

Obituaries are commonly thought of as records that beautifully commemorate the deceased’s life. They usually emphasize merits and are written mainly with anecdotes. Mentioning faults is often considered disrespectful to the deceased. However, the author emphasizes that obituaries are honest ‘life stories’ that go beyond mere death announcements.

The author consistently urges breaking away from the standardized obituary format. Tributes to the deceased are one such example. Regarding the common belief that an obituary must include eulogies or flattering descriptions to be proper, the author advises, "An obituary is not a nomination for sainthood," and recommends "removing trivial content that tires or annoys readers." "(Such content) is too obvious to be interesting and usually so lenient that it lacks credibility."

A typical example is the lengthy listing of awards or emphasizing a harmonious relationship with a spouse. The author insists on mentioning only the most important things, stating, "If you completed a six-week course at Harvard, you should not claim to be a Harvard graduate." He also points out that unless there was a crisis suggesting serious family discord, there is no need to highlight a close relationship with a spouse or a devoted presence at children’s and grandchildren’s sports events.

The author stresses ‘fun’ as an important element of obituaries. He argues, "The best moment at a funeral, that is, the moment when grief is briefly set aside, comes when the person delivering the eulogy recalls the deceased’s funny habits or humorous words and actions." He adds, "Mistakes or cheerful moments are important elements that show who we are or who we were in the past," citing the obituary written by Canadian political cartoonist Michael de Adder after his mother passed away in 2021. De Adder introduced his mother as "a coupon collector and homemade cookie artisan, a dangerous driver, an advocate for the underdog, a ruthless card player, and a self-proclaimed ‘Queen Bitch’," adding, "She loved every child in the world but loved her own children only as much as they shaved cleanly. She was good at giving the finger and never tolerated humiliation."

Based on his experience writing 800 obituaries over the past seven years, the author advises preparing your own obituary. Even if family or acquaintances provide obituary information in good faith, they cannot be more accurate than the person themselves. He explains, "Bereaved families want to talk a lot about the deceased. (Omitted) But sometimes it is surprising how little they actually know about the deceased’s life," adding, "Most bereaved families cannot properly answer why their deceased parents chose ‘this path’ in life when asked."

He then advises asking yourself the following three questions: ▲What did you strive to achieve in life? ▲Why? ▲Did you achieve your goals? The author emphasizes that simply recording answers to these questions can help prepare an obituary that truly reflects oneself.

Including unusual anecdotes is also good. The author cites as an episode to include in his own obituary the experience in 2003 when, under the orders of a female superior, he ordered a penis enlargement product with a corporate card and, after analyzing its chemical components, detected E. coli, yeast, mold, lead, and pesticide residues.

The author explains that obituary writing has begun to be regarded as part of art but says there is still a long way to go. "In modern times, obituaries have become more interesting and fun, but it cannot yet be said that they always well illuminate the events, driving forces, and passions that shaped people’s lives. We can do better."

Thus Life Becomes a Story | Written by James R. Haggerty | Translated by Jeong Yuseon | 396 pages | 18,000 KRW