[One Thousand Characters a Day] Making a Path and Walking in the Field of the Heart <4>

Editor's NoteProfessor Emeritus Shim Young-hee of Hanyang University, author of ＜Walking the Field of the Heart, Making a Path＞, says that her experience with a disease called 'Functional Movement Disorder' made her reflect on her life. Although being ill is unfortunate, through that misfortune, she reconsidered her life and changed the way she views it. Deep inside, the thought of living a different life began to stir. She confesses that this might be a "liberating catastrophe" that freed her from certain constraints she had imposed on herself before and brought about something new. She also wanted to confirm this through writing. Professor Shim’s essays can also be found on the YouTube channel (Joongmin Sesang, https://www.youtube.com/@joongmin_ibc). Word count: 1013.

My heart became fresh again, like that of a child, like a young girl.

Walking outside along this path and that, I looked at trees, flowers, the sky, and clouds. Spending more time with nature made my depression disappear, my heart joyful, and my mood cheerful.

When spring flowers begin to bloom, even though I see them every year, they feel new and wonderful as if seeing them for the first time. Seeing the trees lush with leaves in summer gives me a vigorous energy as if I were young. When autumn comes and the leaves turn red, my heart is overwhelmed by their beauty. When it snows, I run out like a puppy and roll around on the piled snow, feeling delighted.

That’s not all. I burst into laughter at trivial things, chuckling and giggling. Like Heidi, the girl of the Alps who used to talk to the yellow winter aconite flowers she loved as a child, like Anne of Green Gables who named the trees, paths, and lakes she met, and like Jo from ＜Little Women＞ who ran around wildly.

These are things I had never felt or done before. Having lived my whole life as a model student and professor, I was accustomed to maintaining a dignified demeanor. But now, I seem to have stepped away from that a little. It has been quite some time since retirement, and my social activities have greatly decreased; due to illness, I meet people less often. Above all, meetings themselves have sharply declined because of COVID-19. In short, there is no longer a serious need to worry about social status or face.

Only after this did I realize: I am simply myself. What is there to be so concerned about? What does age matter? Being close to nature, having the freedom and peace to walk on my own feet, being thankful that someone is beside me, and having a joyful and happy heart?that is enough. I quietly let go of myself like this.

Perhaps that is why my body is healing. Was my illness something that could be cured by medicine or exercise alone? When the body hurts, the mind hurts; when the mind hurts, the body hurts. Didn’t they say my illness came from stress? Now that my heart is joyful, my body naturally must be healing as well.

- Shim Young-hee, ＜Walking the Field of the Heart, Making a Path＞, Joongmin Publishing, 15,800 KRW