[The Era of Non-Marriage] How Much Should You Give as a Wedding Gift for a Non-Marriage Ceremony... Asking ChatGPT

⑩Should You Give the Same Amount of Congratulatory Money at a Non-Marriage Ceremony?
ChatGPT: "50,000 to 100,000 Won Appropriate for Non-Marriage Ceremony Gifts"
"No Rule to Get Congratulatory Money Back from Non-Marriage Ceremonies Even If You Marry"

Editor's NoteIn a world where marriage is not mandatory, encountering those who choose to remain single is no longer a strange experience. Who chooses to remain single, and why? The issue is not only society's biased views surrounding singlehood. There are also vague perspectives that regard it as an object of admiration. We examine the pros and cons of the so-called 'single life.'

#In 2007, the women's organization 'Unninetwork' held a 'Single Ceremony' event at the outdoor stage of Seoul's Marronnier Park. They sang a self-composed single song, proclaiming "We are beings who can bloom alone," and performed a 'single skit' depicting the stark reality of single people. Ten attendees of the single ceremony wore red cloaks and read aloud a declaration of singlehood, while about 100 men and women attended as guests, applauding in celebration.

#In 2022, Ms. Kim Eun-hee (a pseudonym) was utterly bewildered upon hearing about her high school classmate's 'Single Ceremony.' She had thought it was just a housewarming party after moving out, but her friend sent a mobile invitation to the single ceremony including a bank account number. Among their classmates, it was customary to pool 300,000 KRW each time for weddings, but Ms. Kim could not understand why she was expected to give congratulatory money for a single ceremony, which was not a wedding.

Single Ceremonies Becoming Part of Reality... Naturally, 'Congratulatory Money' Controversy

The first scene is from the '1st Single Women Festival' held in 2007, and the second is a story reconstructed from a post titled 'A Friend Asking for Congratulatory Money for a Single Ceremony' that heated up major online communities last year. As seen in these contrasting scenes, single ceremonies 15 years ago were close to 'social movements.' They were social events mainly led by some activists such as feminists. But now, singlehood has become part of our reality. More people are hearing about the single ceremonies of their family, friends, and coworkers.

The controversy over 'congratulatory money for single ceremonies' starts here. The 'congratulatory money controversy' has been one of the common social conflicts during the traditional marriage process. Whether it was disappointment over a close friend's smaller-than-expected gift or debates about whether the amount should increase due to inflation, the controversy around congratulatory money has become more active even as the number of marriages hits record lows. Single ceremonies, which replace weddings, cannot avoid such debates either.

Ms. Kim's dilemma is one of the most common concerns related to single ceremonies. Giving congratulatory money at weddings is socially considered a natural act and can be understood as confirming friendship and mutual financial support. However, single ceremonies are not yet 'natural,' and since the costs involved are less than those of weddings, the meaning of mutual support is weaker. Apart from 'loyalty,' there is no compelling reason to give congratulatory money.

[Image source=Reuters Yonhap News]

Asked ChatGPT... Appropriate Amount for Single Ceremony Congratulatory Money

There are various criteria for determining the amount of congratulatory money. If you simply know the person, 50,000 KRW is typical, but for close friends, 100,000 KRW is standard. The hometown of the person getting married is also a major factor in deciding the amount. In some regions, there is a custom of giving money to guests. If you have previously given congratulatory money to a friend, matching that amount is also necessary.

Especially for single ceremonies rather than weddings, the criteria become more ambiguous. Since it is difficult to get a definitive answer from anyone, we asked the recently popular ChatGPT about the appropriate amount of congratulatory money for a single ceremony. Although somewhat skeptical about entrusting value judgments to artificial intelligence (AI), we expected a relatively value-neutral response.

When asked, "If I were invited to a single ceremony, how much congratulatory money should I give?" ChatGPT replied, "The amount of congratulatory money varies depending on the relationship and circumstances of the attendees, so there is no fixed amount," but also said, "When attending a single ceremony, the amount of congratulatory money is generally lower compared to weddings."

The amount for wedding congratulatory money is "around 100,000 to 300,000 KRW," but for single ceremonies, "generally 50,000 to 100,000 KRW is appropriate." This means the amount tends to be lower than for weddings.

This might be good news for Ms. Kim. She decided to change the question. If her classmate who held a single ceremony changes their mind and holds a wedding, can she get her congratulatory money back? ChatGPT's answer was, "When giving congratulatory money at weddings or single ceremonies, it is given as a gift, so generally it is not returned. There is no rule that allows you to get back congratulatory money given at a single ceremony even if a wedding is held."

Whether one should give congratulatory money again to a friend who holds a wedding after a single ceremony is still a matter of debate. This contrasts with the lack of controversy over whether to give congratulatory money when remarrying after divorce. It shows that single people still hold a minority status in our society. When asked, ChatGPT said, "If you have already given congratulatory money at a single ceremony, it is considered a sufficient donation."

Although weddings involve transactions of tens of millions of KRW, the act of 'collecting congratulatory money' is not condemned. However, single ceremonies involve less money but are misunderstood as attempts to 'get congratulatory money back.'

However, according to a 2020 public opinion survey conducted by Lotte Members 'Lime,' 52.1% of men and 38.7% of women who want to hold single ceremonies cited 'escaping marriage pressure' as the reason. Only 15.5% of men and 21.6% of women cited 'recovering congratulatory money' as a reason.