[Current & Culture] "I'll Kill Anyone Who Calls My Husband 'Seobangnim'"

One article published last week attracted a lot of attention on the internet. It was included in the book Reading Gym Clothes in the Morning by writer Lee Wonjae, and here is a partial introduction to the content that became a hot topic.

I decided to try it exactly as it appears in the textbook. Since poetry or novels require some basic knowledge to appreciate, I postponed those and started with the kinship terms in ‘Korean Language Life,’ thinking that even if these kids don’t go to college, they should learn the basic common sense needed for social life. The class was composed entirely of female students. Although I was an unmarried bachelor, I actively empathized with the inherent violence in the in-law system, so at least they raised their heads.

"So, if you get married and your husband has an older brother, what do you call him?"

"Ajubeonim (older brother-in-law)!"

"Good. Then what would the wife of that ajubeonim, that is, your senior sister-in-law, call your husband?"

"Seobangnim (husband)!"

"Exactly! An unmarried younger brother-in-law is called doryeonnim, and if married, seobangnim."

Two students sitting in the front row nodded as if to say, "Oh, I see," but the atmosphere felt strange. One girl sitting at the very back, who had been diligently putting on makeup, slammed her mascara and hand mirror down on the desk and said,

"I’ll kill anyone who calls my husband ‘seobangnim’!"

Ah, well, my dear, since Korea is a monogamous country, that person doesn’t think your husband is her own husband but rather it’s a term established long ago?no, sorry. I figured you wouldn’t understand anyway, so while trying to find the right words, her friend next to her chimed in,

"Yeah! Let’s kill them together!"

When I first read this article, I laughed for a long time at the phrase "Let’s kill them together." Teaching someone is such a difficult task. But would I be okay if someone else called my wife ‘honey’? I might feel the same way as those female students. The word ‘seobangnim’ is registered in the Korean dictionary as follows: 1) an honorific term for husband, 2) a term used to refer to or address a married younger brother-in-law, 3) a term used to refer to or address the husband of a younger sister-in-law. This word was basically made to cause conflict. Having the same word both as an honorific for one’s husband and as a term for another person is just a mistake in word creation. Come to think of it, even when learning Korean at school, we were only told to memorize various kinship terms without learning why they exist. Why is someone called doryeonnim or seobangnim, and someone else called cheoje or cheohyeong? Also, the ‘seo’ (書) in seobang means ‘writing’ in Chinese characters, and considering that writing was originally a male domain, it might have originated from the fact that men were the ones who studied. Every language has a history. Therefore, instead of forcing outdated terms, it is right to change them now. The words of those female students are actually the voice of the times.

Kim Minseop, Social and Cultural Critic