[The Era of Non-Marriage] "If You Exclude Married Couples, That Complement Set Itself Is Non-Marriage"

④Podcast Unmarried Generation Talks About 'Bihon'
Planned to Show 'Unmarried People Live Well Like Married Ones'
"I Want to Remain a 'Good Adult Sample' for My Nieces and Nephews"

Editor's NoteIn a world where marriage is not mandatory, meeting someone who chooses to remain single is no longer a strange experience. Who chooses to be single, and why? The issue is not only the societal prejudices surrounding singlehood. There is also a vague admiration directed at it. We diagnose the pros and cons of the so-called 'single life.'

"Since television is full of stories about people eating Jjajangmyeon, I will organize a Jjamppong alliance and seriously talk it out." (From the book 'No, Who These Days' ).

In a world where everyone talks only about Jjajangmyeon, the 'Jjamppong Broadcast' was created to share the stories of those who prefer Jjamppong. With over 17 million cumulative views and honored as one of Apple Podcasts' 'Programs We Loved in 2022,' the audio show 'Bihonse' (The World of Being Single) began its journey this way.

On the afternoon of the 21st, I met with writer and producer-host of the 'single visibility broadcast' Bihonse, Minji Kwak, at a cafe near Haebangchon in Yongsan-gu, Seoul. Hosting Bihonse under the nickname 'Haebangchon Bihonse,' she has also published books such as 'Walking into Madness' (2019), 'I Dance the Bong Dance When I'm Sad' (2019), and 'No, Who These Days' (2021).

Producer and host of the audio broadcast 'Bihonse,' writer Minji Kwak. Photo by Hyunju Park phj0325@

Jjamppong, meaning I just wanted to say I’m sincere about being single, but my entire life isn’t defined by singlehood. Yet some interpreted single people and Bihonse as 'fighters' opposing patriarchy and the institution of marriage. In an era of the lowest birthrate, singlehood may seem grandiose, but in reality, Bihonse is simply an 'everyday podcast.'

Therefore, the criteria for selecting broadcast topics are 'things easy to talk about' or 'things we’re curious about.' The show is conducted comfortably without scripts, like chatting with close friends. It’s not about weighing singlehood against marriage to argue which is better, but about showing that there are diverse single people living well just like married people.

"People often attribute a lot of meaning to our podcast, but I think that’s the ability of our listeners. We just think we should talk about things that can be part of everyday life."

Writer Gwak Min-ji is reading her book 'Who These Days'. Photo by Park Hyun-joo phj0325@

Through hosting Bihonse, Kwak’s perspective changed. Initially, the broadcast started to share the single life, but as each person’s lifestyle differed, singlehood began to feel like a very complex concept. So Kwak hopes the term 'single' becomes a 'complement set referring to everyone except married people.'

"I am a heterosexual single living in Seoul, but listening to our listeners’ stories, some live outside Seoul and have diverse sexual orientations. So if you exclude the male-female married family considered the 'normal family' by society, that complement set itself is singlehood. I think even those considering marriage belong to the unmarried category within singlehood."

As conversations flow naturally, topics about women’s desires are also addressed without hesitation. Appetite and sexual desire, often taboo subjects in society, become relatable topics on Bihonse. Kwak said, "For us, these stories feel like 'Oh, fresh young radish came in today' to our mothers’ generation."

Is singlehood in conflict with marriage? Some may see it that way, but at least in Bihonse’s worldview, that’s not true. Though Bihonse chants 'All the single ladies! All the single people!', guests appear who cannot be defined solely by marital status.

In the U.S., 'Hyeyoung Unni' (broadcast nickname), a married lesbian who is legally single in Korea, shares how she met her spouse. 'Jun Unni' (broadcast nickname), who calls herself a 'married-origin single,' talks about weddings and single ceremonies, saying, "Only those who have eaten rice cakes know." Kwak humorously responds to 'Kang Unni' (broadcast nickname), who asks, "What happens if I appear on Bihonse and then get married?" by saying, "We’ll send a wreath saying 'He was a great guest' under the name Bihonse and tease you on the show."

Recent audio broadcast list of Bihonse, aired every Friday.
[Image source=Potbbang capture]

"I think Bihonse talks more about everyone’s right to be free rather than just living a life without marriage. Whether day or night, I hope everyone enjoys themselves, is not attacked based on marriage or childbirth intentions, and is not constrained by divorce status. Bihonse is one piece of the puzzle where everyone can be freely respected."

The listener base is diverse. Even among married and single people, those of different ages, genders, regions, and parental status gather on Bihonse. Kwak shared, "Among our listeners, there is a single parent raising three daughters. She said, 'I don’t regret having children at all, but if I had known in the past that living authentically as single was an option, I might have considered that life too,' and 'I listen with the hope of giving my daughters choices later on.'"

"Many listen not because they see singlehood as the right answer to life, but out of simple curiosity, vicarious satisfaction, or the feeling that 'they live really interesting lives,' like watching a travel program."

Listeners with similar mindsets have formed other communities. Currently, various groups have emerged, including 'Veganse' (the world of vegans who listen to Bihonse), book clubs, movie clubs, and writing groups. Bihonse has become a matchmaker arranging gatherings among single people.

Bihonse held a live public broadcast on January 7th at Bukahyeon Art Hall in Seodaemun-gu, Seoul, meeting with listeners. From the left, writer Jin-song Lee, writer Min-ji Kwak, and Kang Unni (broadcast nickname).
[Image provided by writer Kwak]

On January 7th, writer Gwak Min-ji (left), the host of Bihon-se, held a live public broadcast at Bukahyeon Art Hall in Seodaemun-gu, Seoul, engaging in conversation with listeners. [Image provided by writer Gwak]

"I want to grow old as a grandma who is passionate about fandoms and active on Twitter. A grandma who keeps discovering things she loves and always has something she wants to do."

When asked what kind of grandma she wants to be, Kwak gave a somewhat 'hip' answer. She is an ardent fan of volleyball player Heejin Kim and lyricist Gina Kim. She is confident that as a hip grandma, she will be surrounded by friends and beloved nieces and nephews with whom she can talk regardless of age. Kwak and her friends are planning to live together like a share house.

The birth of her two beloved nephews opened a new horizon in Kwak’s life. She is a living testament disproving the prejudice that all single people dislike children. Some even advised, "If your nephews are so cute, why don’t you have kids too?" but Kwak’s way of loving her nephews is not through childbirth but by being a 'good adult role model.' She believes that remaining a model of a woman who neither marries nor gives birth is also part of social communal childcare. She personally demonstrates that choosing singlehood and childlessness is not strange but can be considered a natural option.

Carrying a tumbler for the environment and respecting others’ diverse eating habits began after her nephews were born. Kwak believes the world her nephews will grow up in will be somewhat different from today.

So Bihonse continues to shout today. To a society that regards marriage as the inevitable destination of love, it says...

"And also, live alone!"