[How About This Book] Sister's Comfort "A Forty with Dreams Does Not Age"

'National Mentor' Kim Mi-kyung's Advice for People in Their 40s
Worked Relentlessly but Struggled to Find Their Place and Wandered
A Period of Intensifying Depression, Sadness, and Self-Doubt
Do Not Compare Yourself to Successful Peers of Similar Age
Importance of Investing in Yourself
Practice and Prepare Adequately While Working at a Company

[Asia Economy Reporter Seo Mideum] Kim Mikyung, who is often referred to as the "National Mentor." She first gained fame as a self-development instructor, and now she is a YouTuber with 1.6 million subscribers and the CEO of the online knowledge community MKYU, which has 180,000 members. After a long time, she has returned as an author. Having previously become a bestselling author with works such as Wives with Dreams Do Not Age and Sister’s Sharp Words, she has released a new book titled Kim Mikyung’s Lessons at Forty (Awake Books). As the title suggests, it is filled with advice for people in their forties in this country.

She recently said she deeply empathizes with what people in their 30s and 40s are going through. She confessed that she herself believed she would become a more relaxed and solid adult by the time she turned forty, but she was still anxious and uneasy every day, and it was the busiest and most difficult period of her life.

She describes forty as the time when depression and sadness begin in earnest. People in their thirties have fought hard through important life choices such as work, marriage, and childbirth, but looking back, the expectations that they would have settled down to some extent are unmet, leading to intense self-doubt. For married women, it is also a period of major transformation when the thought "I can just trust this person and live" changes to "If I only trust this person, it will be a big problem." To readers who worry whether they have lived their lives wrongly, she advises, "That is not the case," and urges them to discard the stereotype that everything must be achieved and stability found by forty. She emphasizes, "Forty today is not the forty of the past. The forties are neither the golden age of life nor an age to prove oneself." The Confucian concept of "bulhok" (不惑), meaning no longer being confused by worldly matters, is no longer valid.

She says her own life is no different. Although it may seem she suddenly became a star instructor overnight, people only began to recognize her in her late forties, and before that, she had 15 years of obscurity. In fact, she started hosting the "Kim Mikyung Show" at forty-nine, and all her major works were published around her fifties.

Having offered comfort that there is no need to be anxious at forty, she next gives advice on how to spend this decade. Before many "must do" advices, she stresses one thing: "No comparison." She advises not to blame oneself by comparing with others of similar age who have achieved great success. She says everyone has their own lows and highs, and one should rightfully be proud of fighting through their own lows. At this time, comforting oneself like a child is also important. She shares an anecdote about how she was upset for not being able to buy a house even after turning forty, and wrote alone in her notebook, "I am the only person in my family who appears on TV." It was her own effort and actually a great comfort.

Now comes the time for encouragement to take on challenges. She emphasizes investing in oneself, saying, "No one succeeds without investment." This applies equally whether single or married. She says, "Everyone should have their own desk," and adds, "Saying 'have confidence' without money, time, or space is empty talk. (Omitted) If you have 100 books in your space, your thinking grows as much as 100 books, and if you have 1,000 books, the world of 10,000 books becomes yours." She continues, "If you want to come up with alternatives, you must fill your space with things worthy of alternatives," and "Only when the world expands can you receive new stimuli. Without any stimuli, you cannot come up with any alternatives for yourself."

Today’s forties are the first generation living in the 100-year life era, but in reality, it is a time to prepare for retirement. The seven things lost when leaving a company are ▲salary ▲network ▲division of labor ▲credit ▲expertise ▲direction ▲stability. Reflecting on these means that if one prepares for them, retirement is no longer something to fear. What is needed for this is also investment in oneself.

This is also connected to how to cope with recessions. When interest rates rise during a recession, people try to reduce expenses, but changing one’s mindset to increase income can also be an answer. She advises, "It is not important to reduce, but to think about what to fill in as much as you reduce," and "If you reduce work, you have more time. That time is future money. How you spend that money determines our future." She adds, "During a recession, some live as if it is a recession, while others live as if it is a boom," and "Those who live as if it is a boom, even if they have no immediate income, diligently meet people, gain experience, and study busily. These people are the ones who endure until the end."

In summary, forty is no longer a stable period. Rather, it is a time of great upheaval in life. The important thing is investment in oneself. It is a time to set unwavering personal success goals and accumulate experience and effort to achieve them. The author says, "I am not the only one struggling because of the recession. Whether you can make the phrase 'crisis is opportunity' your own is entirely up to you."

When emphasizing challenges, many think of starting a business recklessly, but the author offers practical advice. She says, "No matter how hard it is, you should practice and prepare sufficiently while working at a company," and "You should only leave your job after making a prototype, releasing it to the market, and confirming that the revenue exceeds your salary for more than six months."

Kim Mikyung’s Lessons at Forty | Written by Kim Mikyung | Awake Books | 300 pages | 18,000 KRW