Daegu Gaslighting Victim, How Did She End Up Forced into Marriage?

A Close Older Sister I Relied on for a Long Time Turns into an Abuser
From Sex Work to Name Change, Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage
"Gaslighting Is Unrelated to Intellectual Ability or Disability"

[Asia Economy Reporter Park Hyun-joo] The story of a gaslighting victim in Daegu contains shocking details that are hard to comprehend with common sense. The sudden change of a trusted close older sister shook her life to the core. The victim's story, which affected prostitution, forced marriage, divorce, remarriage, and even a name change... Contrary to common perception, the victim was not someone with intellectual disabilities or suffering from schizophrenia or other illnesses.

Experts unanimously agreed that the idea that the victim became a gaslighting victim due to some deficiency or problem is a 'very big misunderstanding.'

According to the victim's police statement on the 18th, the accused A was a 'close older sister' trusted by the victim. The victim, who started working in Daegu in 2013, away from family and without any connections, found the unfamiliar life in a strange place difficult and gradually came to rely on A. This is a typical pattern of gaslighting, where the abuser exploits vulnerabilities through intimacy with the victim, such as a lover, spouse, or friend.

Although they had known each other for about 10 years, the abuse reportedly occurred intensively over the past three years, from October 2019 to September last year. It is said that the close older sister, whom the victim had relied on for a long time while living alone in an unfamiliar place, turned into an abuser. The beginning was when A urged the victim to divorce and suggested sharing a residence.

After marriage, the victim expressed financial difficulties, and upon hearing this, A proposed living together. Facing a difficult situation, the victim accepted A's offer to 'live together and help.' Already highly dependent on A, the victim also accepted A's advice to divorce and chose to do so. A few months later, the victim remarried a man B, whom she had never met before.

However, the new husband was not a figure who helped the victim either. B was a close junior of A and her husband, and it turned out he played a role in monitoring the victim. In fact, he was a co-perpetrator who colluded in the crime.

After remarriage, the victim even had to change her name. This is why the victim's family found it difficult to know about her difficult situation.

Attorney Yang Ji-min appeared on YTN's 'News Q' on the 18th and said, "It appears that the perpetrator couple exploited the victim very systematically. To prevent the family from finding her, they forced her to marry and assigned the husband to monitor her. When the victim's family reported her missing to the investigative agency, they had to provide information such as name and photo, but since the name was completely different, it seems it took time to find the victim."

The exploitation by the perpetrator couple reportedly occurred day and night. The victim had to take care of A and her husband's children or do housework during the day, and at night, she had to engage in prostitution to meet the assigned financial quota. She had to earn between 800,000 to 1,500,000 KRW per day. Over three years, the victim engaged in prostitution about 2,000 times, and the profit extorted by the perpetrator couple is estimated to be about 500 million KRW.

The perpetrator couple A and her husband, along with the victim's husband B, were booked by the police on the 17th.

Gaslighting has the characteristic of making the victim blame themselves for falling into the perpetrator's trap. The ignorant public criticism such as "How could someone be victimized for three years? Isn't the victim's intelligence low?" only further intimidates gaslighting crime victims.

Professor Lee Soo-jung of the Department of Criminal Psychology at Kyonggi University explained on YTN's 'The News' that day, "The perpetrator blames all unfortunate situations on the victim to maintain psychological control. At first, the victim resists by saying 'No,' but when completely isolated from the outside world, they eventually admit the fault and blame themselves. It's like a kind of brainwashing, leading to the destruction of self-esteem with thoughts like 'I deserve to be beaten' and 'I keep making mistakes.'"

The victim was a person who had been socially active, teaching children at an academy after graduating from university. Experts say there are no 'conditions that make one susceptible to gaslighting,' and anyone can become a victim of gaslighting crimes regardless of intellectual ability or social skills.

This is why the recent series of gaslighting crimes are not just 'distant others' problems. The victim Yoon in the so-called 'Gapyeong Valley Murder Case' was also working after graduating from university and had no mental illness or intellectual disability.

Senior Researcher Seung Jae-hyun of the Criminal Law and Policy Research Institute explained on YTN's 'News Rider' that day, "It may be hard to understand how a victim who had a very healthy social life could suffer such harm, but according to the victim's claim, if she tried to escape, she was caught again and subjected to torture-like beatings and threats. Because of gaslighting, the victim likely fell into a psychological state of control, thinking 'I have nowhere to go in this world,' 'Wherever I go, I will be caught,' and 'Although I am being beaten, this is the only place where I can be protected.'"

Professor Lee also said on YTN's 'The News,' "The core of gaslighting is psychological domination, meaning losing judgment ability and reaching a psychological panic state. It leads to a state where rational decision-making ability is completely absent, and the victim surrenders their body or becomes mentally dependent as the perpetrator exploits them."