Having an Affair Increased Self-Esteem and Life Satisfaction?

Dutch Researchers Survey 947 European Men and Women on Infidelity Experiences
Women Who Commit Infidelity Report Increased Happiness from Fulfilling Personal Desires... Men Show Opposite Trend

[Asia Economy Reporter Kim Hyunjung] A study has found that women who have committed adultery actually have higher self-esteem and life satisfaction than before.

According to recent reports from The Times and Daily Mail in the UK, researchers from Tilburg University in the Netherlands conducted a survey of 947 men and women in Europe who either committed adultery themselves or experienced a partner's infidelity, discovering this fact. Among the study participants, 609 were perpetrators of adultery, and 338 were victims.

The researchers found that women who experienced adultery not only recovered but even showed an improvement in quality of life. They suggested this is likely because female adultery is often a result of dissatisfaction with their partner. Personal needs unmet in the existing relationship were fulfilled through adultery, increasing happiness, and adultery served as a wake-up call to the partner, prompting positive behavioral changes. However, these positive outcomes were found only in women. Male perpetrators of adultery were shown to suffer more negative effects from their actions.

Meanwhile, the researchers concluded from this study that adultery is not a random occurrence but rather the result of long-standing unhappy relationships. Looking at the participants, the relationship satisfaction and happiness of the perpetrators had gradually declined even before committing adultery.

Specifically, causes for the decline in relationship and life satisfaction included a lack of honest communication or significant life events such as having a baby. This drop in satisfaction could serve as a reason for perpetrators to start adultery or even as a deliberate means of avoiding pain. Additionally, the decline in victims' satisfaction was seen as a result of sensing their partner's dissatisfaction or as a causal factor increasing the likelihood of experiencing a partner's infidelity. If the victim shows a dissatisfied attitude, it makes them less attractive as a 'future adultery victim,' which in turn encourages the partner's infidelity. These research findings were published in the latest issue of the academic journal Psychological Science.

The researchers advised The Times, "When experiencing a partner's adultery, blaming the perpetrator is not a good strategy," and recommended, "First ask your partner what problems have existed for a long time."