[MZ Column] The 'Nukalhyeop' and 'Akkangbeo' of a Society That Has Lost Empathy

Anyone Can Make Wrong Choices
When We Broaden Our Empathy for Each Other
The Path to Being Understood Opens for Myself Too

[Asia Economy] Recently, among the younger generation, there are new slang terms such as ‘Nukalhyeop’ and ‘Akkangbeo.’ Nukalhyeop is an abbreviation of ‘Nuga kalro hyeophakhaetnya’ (Who threatened you with a knife?), and Akkangbeo stands for ‘Ak-euro kkang-euro beotyeora’ (Endure with all your might and spirit). For those hearing these terms for the first time, it might be puzzling to understand the context in which they are used. These two terms are mainly used in contexts where someone is told, “You made the choice, so you must take responsibility and bear the consequences.”

For example, if someone complains that a public servant’s salary is low and it’s tough, a comment might be made saying, “Who told you to become a public servant?” Similarly, one might say, “You chose to be a public servant. Endure with all your might and spirit.” As these slang terms have become widespread, a famous public servant YouTuber recently used them, causing a stir.

Both terms reflect how our era places an absolute emphasis on individual ‘choice’ as the standard. It implies that no one forced you; if you made the choice, you must take full responsibility and accept the difficulties or unfairness that come with it. What is noteworthy is that when these terms are used, distancing from others’ hardships takes precedence over empathy.

In other words, these terms carry the meaning of “I will not empathize with you. I will neither understand nor comfort you. Just handle it yourself.” When we emphasize individual choice and responsibility alone, it inevitably leads to a ‘widening’ gap among members. Since everything is your choice, I am exempt from ‘empathy and understanding’ toward you.

This phenomenon is felt throughout society. We live trapped in the perspective that since we made the choice, everything is solely our fault. When we seek empathy or understanding from others, we only hear, “That was your choice, so deal with it.” Furthermore, acts of resistance against the absurdity of the job we chose or society and organizations are simply dismissed with “Endure with all your might and spirit.”

There was a recent incident related to this. When a child cried on a plane, a middle-aged man appeared and said to the parents, “Who told you to have a child?” while verbally abusing and threatening them. This is a scene where people continuously distance themselves from one another, eliminate the possibility of empathy and understanding, and even the minimum understanding and consideration for each other disappear.

Philosopher Renata Salecl points out in her book The Tyranny of Choice that “While obsessing over personal choice, we miss the fact that choices are never purely personal and are greatly influenced by the society we live in.” Choices are often social and environmental. Many of our choices are made under unavoidable circumstances, external pressures, or overwhelming fears and anxieties. No one can live making perfect choices all the time.

It is necessary not to blame everything solely on individual choices but to build a society where many choices do not destroy lives. When we broaden the scope of empathy and understanding toward each other, the possibility of being understood ourselves also increases.

There are moments in life when being understood is essential. Everyone makes wrong choices sometimes and inevitably faces hardships. If, at such times, we look around and find only people who have closed their eyes and ears to each other, we may painfully realize that we have created a flawed society.

Jung Ji-woo, Cultural Critic and Writer