[Lee Yongbeom's Psychology of Happiness] Why Does Desire Never Stop?

<34> Why Do Desires Never Stop?
Appetite, Sleep, Sex, Wealth, Honor... The Five Desires Are Natural Human Needs

Iyongbeom Novelist

A king called a general who had won a war and asked him for a wish. The general replied that if he were given a small piece of land, he would like to build a small house. After a moment of thought, the king said to him, “I will give you as much land as you can run before the sun sets.” The general started running as soon as he left the palace. As the sun began to set, his body was battered and foam flowed from his mouth. With all his strength, he threw his cane forward and shouted, “That land over there is mine!” Then he passed away. Upon hearing the news, the king bitterly pursed his lips and said, “Tsk tsk, in the end, you will be buried in just one pyeong of land anyway...”

Desire Is Not a Sin

Long ago, Xunzi (荀子) accurately grasped the essence of human desire. He said that what people want to eat is beef and pork, what they want to wear is beautiful silk, when traveling they want to ride horses or carriages, and ultimately they want to become rich. Yet humans never know satisfaction until death. Also, it is human nature to distinguish beauty and ugliness with the eyes, clarity and muddiness of sounds with the ears, salty, sour, sweet, and bitter tastes with the mouth, fragrant and fishy smells with the nose, and cold, heat, pain, and itchiness with the skin.

The nature of humans constantly moving forward by turning the wheel of greed evolved from the time when the desire to possess was essential for survival. As food and wealth that could gather people became weapons for survival, ancestors planted the seeds of desire in our genes. We inherited the genes of these greedy survivors. The five desires (五慾)?appetite, sleep, sex, wealth, and honor?are basic human needs. Without satisfying these desires, survival itself is impossible.

Therefore, desire is natural. The Enlightenment philosopher Thomas Hobbes asserted in Leviathan that the absolute good claimed by moral philosophers does not exist. According to him, a person without desires is like someone whose senses and imagination have stopped, and such a person can no longer live. Happiness does not lie in mental satisfaction. The pursuit of happiness is merely a continuous progression of desires. He identified the perpetual and relentless desire that ends only with death as the first human inclination. John Stuart Mill also stated in On Liberty that “the only freedom worthy of the name is the freedom to pursue happiness in one’s own way, so long as one does not attempt to deprive others of theirs, or impede their efforts to obtain it.” The freedom to pursue is the freedom of desire. One whose desire ceases is as good as dead. The problem is that we desire beyond basic needs.

The Hedonic Treadmill

In the 1970s, American social psychologist Philip Brickman and his research team discovered that lottery winners’ happiness increased significantly but eventually returned to levels similar to before winning. The team named this phenomenon the “hedonic treadmill.” It is a metaphor for how no matter how hard you run on the treadmill, you do not move forward. People who became paralyzed from a traffic accident were extremely unhappy at the time of the accident but over time returned to a state no different from ordinary people.

The reason we run on the hedonic treadmill is that we adapt too quickly to changed circumstances. We easily get used to improved lives and hard-earned happiness. Imagine this: you earn 50 million won annually, but a competitor offers you 80 million won to recruit you. After much consideration, you change jobs. However, six months later, the new company goes bankrupt. Your old company offers you a suitable position with a salary of 55 million won. Would you return?

If your livelihood is not urgent, it would be difficult to go back. You have already adapted to the 80 million won salary. Offering less than that is an insult. Although it is a 5 million won increase compared to your previous job, it is a 25 million won cut compared to the last six months.

What makes us adapt to pleasure is the brain’s reward pathway. The reward pathway, where dopamine operates, is also an addiction circuit. A gambler who cuts off a finger but cannot leave the gambling hall has already adapted to ordinary wins. A gambler who wins 1,000 dollars is not satisfied with winning 1,000 dollars. The same win no longer gives the gambler pleasure. He wants a higher thrill, a more exhilarating victory. When addicted to gambling, just hearing the sound of coins pouring from the machine triggers dopamine release in the brain. At this time, the brain’s state is similar to that of a drug addict. Drugs act like the lever of a game machine.

According to the 2015 report Happiness Half-Life by the American Economic Survey Council, the effective duration of happiness is about eight months. When low-cost housing was provided to the extremely poor in Latin America, their happiness increased greatly immediately after moving into the new homes. However, after eight months, 60% of that happiness disappeared. We adapt not only to happiness but also to pain. In 2003, a survey of 17,000 women widowed for over 15 years found that most recovered their pre-loss happiness levels within eight years.

The adaptation effect is terrifyingly clear. In childhood, we lived well without a refrigerator, but now it is hard to imagine life without one. Whatever we achieve, adaptation resets everything. But because of this, we gain motivation to live. People dream of better achievements to regain lost pleasure or to obtain even greater pleasure. Thus, humans are slaves addicted to happiness. The brain always wants a better state. If freed from desire, one is freed from pain, but unfortunately, the desire for a better state never disappears. Even if a utopia were realized on earth, people would never be satisfied.

Desire, the Host of Misery

As long as we are under the control of desire, we can never be truly happy. A state where desire is completely fulfilled cannot exist. Yet humanity has nurtured the vain belief that such a state exists. Enlightened sages did not erase desire but had desires of a different dimension. Their desire was to bring happiness to all humanity. However, although many sages have walked the earth, only their promises remain, and the hoped-for dream has yet to be realized. Still, we have no choice but to seek happiness within the fragile hope that desire can be erased.

It is actually easier to abandon material desires. The desire we can never ultimately abandon is the desire for others’ love. Everyone desires the love of others. They want to be recognized as beings worthy of admiration. Desiring what others desire is the true host of all sins. Historically, unjust power and pseudo-teachings have sprouted from this host.

Maximizing desire to obtain happiness is the worst recipe for an unhappy life. Every desire leads to a new desire. New desires become the source of new deficiencies and new ruin. As long as desire remains, no matter how much happiness is obtained, one does not become happier. The best way to avoid unhappiness is not to crave great happiness. In other words, to reduce desire to the level of moderation. Put differently, not wanting more than one’s ability.

We can neither fully satisfy desire nor completely abandon it. Lasting happiness is only maintaining balance between these two paths. The consolation is that just as we easily adapt to happiness, we also adapt to pain. Adaptation makes us forget pain and gives us strength to live. Thanks to this, we can rise again after setbacks and trials.

Lee Yong-beom, Novelist