[Square] Family, a Relationship of Dedication and Respect

The movie Collateral (released in 2020) takes its starting point from the film Harmony, which was released in 2010. Harmony is a film that weaves the true stories of a women's prison choir into a drama. The core stories include a female protagonist who, after accidentally killing her husband suffering from severe jealousy, enters prison pregnant, gives birth, raises the child in prison for 18 months, experiences separation, and then reunion; a story about a husband who has an affair with a student and dies in an accident; and a story about a stepfather’s repeated sexual abuse leading to an impulsive murder.

Encountering various types of family issues sparked my interest in the stories of Joseonjok immigrant families. The movie Collateral tells a story of people meeting through unfortunate circumstances and becoming family by blood ties. (In Collateral, loan sharks take the daughter of a Chinese-Korean immigrant as collateral, which then develops into another form of familial love.) Although the film’s setting is extreme, the fundamental meaning of family remains the same. Collateral aimed to portray the process of creating bonds through the efforts of protagonists becoming family under special circumstances, and this process is the dramatic power and emotional core shared by both Harmony and Collateral. The film captures the true meaning of family within this. Just as my parents did, I believe family is a relationship where different people meet, understand and accept the essence of each other’s personality flaws, and respect one another.

I recall when my first child was born. I was an awkward father. One day, I had to carry my child for about two hours on a crowded subway. Holding a child weighing just over 10 kg, walking through the crowd, my arm felt like it was going numb, and I wanted to put the child down on the floor. But I didn’t, and I had to protect the child. Looking back, wasn’t that a natural behavior that a parent must do? I sometimes think that was part of the process of becoming a father.

I believe family is a relationship where each person maintains their individuality in their own position and naturally devotes themselves to one another. The various forms of families depicted in Harmony, which deals with the disintegration (separation) and healing (reunion) of families in extreme situations, illustrate this. Through Collateral, which portrays the process of new families forming amid the disintegration of immigrant families facing inevitable separation, I was able to glimpse the diverse forms of families in this world.

According to data surveyed a few years ago, South Korea’s divorce rate among OECD countries is approximately 47%, and the remarriage rate is about 27%. Through marriage, remarriage, and adoption, the individuals and their children already belong to the broad category of family as parents and siblings. I believe that a family formed through created relationships becomes a true family when it faces devotion beyond the virtues that an original family should have.

The third element of love mentioned in Erich Fromm’s The Art of Loving comes to mind. If the third element of love, ‘respect,’ is absent, responsibility easily degenerates into domination and possession. According to the etymology of ‘respect,’ it is the ability to see a person as they are and to know their unique individuality. Respect is the interest in others growing and developing in their own way. Family is watching over each other with respect and care; that is devotion, and that is love.

Kang Daegyu, Film Director