[Exclusive] "Save Our Daughter" Tears Over Unending School Violence [Let's End School Violence Now①]

Interview with Father of Daughter Who Ended Her Blooming Life at 16 Due to School Violence 3 Years Ago
Terrible Pain Still Ongoing... Even 'Attempted Extreme Choice'
Urgent Need for Effective School Violence Manual Centered on Victims

Editor's Note School violence is not just a simple assault incident. The wounds experienced during the teenage years, a time full of dreams, haunt the victims for life. The recent wave of 'school violence accusations' in our society clearly shows how severe this trauma is. Are adults providing sufficient social safety nets for teenagers? Although May is the month of family, families affected by school violence find it difficult to maintain a normal life. We examined whether the recovery of those suffering at this very moment is being properly addressed, how the victim families are living, and what measures our society should take based on this harsh reality.

A, a 16-year-old girl attending a middle school in Michuhol-gu, Incheon, took her own life by jumping after suffering from school violence. The victim's father always carries a photo necklace containing a picture of his daughter wearing her school uniform. Photo by Seunggon Han hsg@asiae.co.kr

[Asia Economy Reporters Seunggon Han, Choyoung Kim, Soyoung Kim] "What should I say? Our family is still in pain."

In July 2018, A (then 16), a student at a middle school in Michuhol-gu, Incheon, jumped from the third floor of her apartment room and took her own life. The victim had suffered from persistent, cruel, and horrific school violence, including sexual assault, during her lifetime. After the incident became public and was reported by the media, the perpetrators were brought to trial and are paying for their crimes.

However, the case is not over. It is ongoing. The bereaved family lives every day in pain, as if they are alive but not truly living. The victim families criticize the school's formal responses and the lack of a thorough social safety net. We met with the father who lost his daughter to school violence three years ago. The following is a Q&A.

- What has been the most frustrating part so far?

▲ First of all, I am furious at the school's complacent response. After the incident occurred, we filed a complaint. I received a text from a school teacher saying that the school violence had been reported. So, I thought the school would handle it properly. I kept waiting. But the teacher in charge of school violence said that since the police case was a serious matter, they would deal with the school violence after the investigation results came out.

After that, there was very little contact. When I asked about the progress of the school violence case, they said, "You need to properly fill out and submit the application form for it to be accepted," so only then did I officially report the school violence. This is not just my issue; the entire manual for the 'School Violence Countermeasure Autonomous Committee' (Hakpokwi) in our society needs to be reexamined.

The father of the affected student is meeting with the Asia Economy reporters and sharing his feelings over the period. Photo by Han Seung-gon hsg@asiae.co.kr

- Specifically, what aspects of the Hakpokwi made things difficult?

▲ I felt the investigation process was unfair. Since my daughter passed away, they spoke to her close friends. As a parent, my daughter was repeatedly called in regarding other students' matters. Some parents might be okay with that, but it was a constant situation. It was frustrating.

I felt the Hakpokwi was not functioning properly. The person in charge kept changing. This was very difficult because every time the person changed, I had to repeat what I had said. Also, since the perpetrators attended three different schools, dealing with the schools themselves was very challenging.

At that time, I really wanted to show that fists are closer than the law. I said, "The school rules are strange. Isn't there something wrong?" but I only received answers like "There is no problem." One principal even called me a complainant, despite being the parent of the victim.

I questioned the school's handling of the violence and filed a complaint with the city education office, but only received responses saying "There is no problem." After repeatedly filing complaints, the third complaint led the education office audit team to notify us that "there were procedural issues." However, we do not know who was disciplined or what the punishment was. The school has not apologized nor changed the results.

Honestly, this caused me so much pain that I once attempted an extreme act. I also received counseling, but the suffering of school violence victims and their families is unimaginable. How can a school act like this?

A complaint submitted by the father of a victim student stating that proper response is difficult due to an ineffective school violence committee manual. Photo by Han Seung-gon hsg@asiae.co.kr

- You lost your daughter to school violence. Is there anything you want to say to the perpetrators?

▲ They must be punished. The ones who hit her don't remember. Some might say it was a foolish act or mistake during their teenage years. But school violence perpetrators are not making mistakes. They are fully aware of their actions. Nowadays, they are even more cunning, bullying in ways that are not obvious and do not legally constitute a problem. The victims live in lifelong agony, while the perpetrators live comfortably. Something is wrong.

Another thing is that school violence issues inevitably have limits because after three years, students graduate. The parties involved disappear, making it difficult to bring the issue to public attention. Because of this, victims seem to report school violence after 10 or 20 years when they can no longer endure it.

The room where the victim student dreamed beautiful dreams. Photo by the bereaved family

- Were there any attempts at apology or settlement?

▲ I rejected all of them. From the beginning, I never intended to accept an apology or consider a settlement. I want only one thing: to bring my daughter back. I do not ask for anything else. What scares me these days is that there was never a moment when I did not think of my daughter, even for a second. But now, sometimes I do not think of her. That scares me. To be forgotten.

- You must have endured tremendous pain over a long time.

▲ My daughter had a younger brother, and I feel so sorry. I couldn't take good care of him. Still, he silently did his part and endured well. I am very sorry. The whole family is struggling, but we do not show it outwardly. School violence is hard not only for the victims but also shakes an entire family to its core.

There are comments saying, "Do you want to make money by selling your daughter?" I could have sued, but I let it go. My personal wish is that the OO case becomes public again. If people show a little interest, I think the facts will be revealed more accurately. I hope the perpetrators properly pay for their crimes.

Meanwhile, this case became known after the deceased victim's father posted a petition on the Blue House National Petition Board titled "Please resolve the grievance of our daughter who committed suicide due to sexual assault and school violence."

The first trial court sentenced Kim to 6 years in long-term imprisonment and 4 years in short-term imprisonment in February last year, and Kang to 5 years long-term and 3 years 6 months short-term imprisonment. Ahn was sentenced to 4 months in prison with a 1-year probation. The court pointed out that the crimes committed by Kim and others were not minor and that the young victim appeared to have suffered significant mental distress.

In August of the same year, the prosecution also demanded prison sentences in the appeal trial. The prosecution requested 8 years long-term and 5 years short-term imprisonment for Kim, 7 years long-term and 5 years short-term imprisonment for Kang, and 1 year 6 months long-term and 1 year short-term imprisonment for Ahn. The court is scheduled to deliver the appeal verdict for these individuals on the 14th.