[Nudge Leadership] Prepping Garlic: The Essence and Secret to Family Happiness

The Meaning of a Small, Subtle Gesture

Changwook Park, CEO of Korea Knowledge Leader Association (Secretary General of Daewoo World Management Research Association)

"Honey, what do you think about those bruised nectarines over there?" My wife asked me as I accompanied her to the market. "What for?" I replied. "I want to trim off the bruises and try making some fruit vinegar." Just as I was about to say, "Who's going to prep all that?" she was already haggling over the price.

For several years now, it has become routine for me to go with my wife to the market or supermarket every Saturday and Sunday. The fact that Garak Market, Korea's largest wholesale market, is only a five-minute drive away certainly helps. Since I don't let my wife drive, I have to go along to help whenever there's a big load to carry.

I have two other concerns. Three years ago, my eldest daughter got married, and it looks like my younger daughter will follow suit next year. Both got married at the ages of 29 and 30, and I am grateful that they respected the thoughts of their parents. Because of this, people around us often express their envy. However, the question of how my wife and I will live well together, just the two of us, now lingers in my mind.

On another note, for the past eight months, half of my annual income from lectures has vanished due to COVID-19. I am extremely fortunate to be working at a public interest corporation, where I receive at least a minimal salary. The only solution is to cut back on spending. Still, since I am contributing less to the household, I feel very sorry for my wife.

I am truly grateful that I never took up golf. My wife has always relieved the stress of frugal living and maintained her health by exercising at the neighborhood swimming pool. That's why, at least on weekends, I feel I should stay close to her out of consideration. While my wife is exercising, I study, watch movies online, and write, naturally practicing 'being alone.'

As a result, we tend to buy ingredients in bulk at Garak Market. We go around retail and semi-wholesale markets to buy ingredients like garlic, scallions, anchovies, and cabbage, then clean and store them in the refrigerator to eat later. I had seen my wife prepping these ingredients little by little as needed, but I used to ignore it, blaming my busy schedule.

Then one day, my wife handed me some garlic and asked me to prep it. I sat down for two to three hours and did it without moving. I suddenly felt grateful. When I joked that the food tasted especially good because I had prepped it, the list of ingredients expanded to include onions, green onions, radishes, and sweet potato stems.

I tried to interpret this positively and took on the challenge with an optimistic mindset. There were several benefits. First, the active use of my fingers helps reduce the risk of dementia. Even simple repetitive activities are said to be good for the body. Second, it makes a significant contribution to household finances. It's also nice to eat generously. These are ingredients both my wife and I enjoy. That day, we bought the nectarines at a 90% discount because they were bruised. Garlic and scallions are, of course, cheaper than buying them at the supermarket. Third, since my wife is happy, even if my income drops, I minimize the risk of being ignored at home.

Lastly, the greatest benefit is that my two daughters like seeing this side of me. Sometimes they tease me, saying, "Dad has finally become a decent person." I believe that a harmonious marriage is the best education and the compass of life for children. Isn't this not just a case of "killing two birds with one stone," but rather "killing four birds with one stone," since I have gained four benefits? "If she asks, just go along with it."

The fruit vinegar made from nectarines that we prepared last week is now fermenting. My wife tells me to try it, saying it's good for my health. The variety of ingredients and the frequency of these activities are both increasing. Still, I try to keep my spirits up. "When I retire and leave the company, I'll even learn to cook, so what can't I do?"

Changwook Park, CEO of Korea Knowledge Workers Association (Secretary General of Daewoo World Management Research Association)

◆What is 'Nudge Leadership'?

- 'Nudge Leadership' refers to leading organizational or personal change through small, gentle interventions or motivation, rather than coercive or directive methods. It also means improving human relationships and transforming oneself into someone others want to follow through small personal changes. Ultimately, it is about infusing creativity and passion into organizations and relationships, thereby creating new value and happiness.