[SSG nudge Leadership] "We kept the beat with applause at the wedding. It was a bit embarrassing"

- How to Overcome Generation Gaps in Conversations

Changwook Park, CEO of Korea Knowledge Leader Association (Secretary General of Daewoo World Management Research Association)

"Teacher! Thank you for clapping."

This was a public greeting I received from a singer who performed a congratulatory song at my nephew’s wedding. Last March, I enthusiastically kept the beat with applause as the singer sang the congratulatory song, but I was the only one among about 300 guests who did so.

Nowadays, it feels as if different generations are like different species to each other. Millennials and Generation Z seem to be dividing themselves by calling others 'teoldae' (old fogey), 'kkondae' (authoritarian), or 'latte' (referring to the past). Although there is no perfect solution, I have always thought that simply saying 'there have always been generational gaps' is not enough.

Especially since I recruit about 200 young people every year to go to Southeast Asia, nurture them as global young entrepreneurs for a year, and help them find jobs, I pay a lot of attention to communication issues between generations. At every stage?from recruiting applicants, training them, to placing them in different companies?I have to engage in deep conversations with the 'young people these days.' This topic is similar to the concerns of CEOs, politicians, and elders in families.

I found a small solution to this concern in a place where it would be uncomfortable to view it from the perspective of a 'kkondae.' It was at the last congratulatory song segment of a wedding without a formal ceremony or officiant, when a well-known singer, introduced as a friend of the groom, started singing. Listening to the ballad-style song, I gradually got into the mood. As the bride’s uncle, I was seated in the front family row and could fully sense the singer’s earnest performance. I also saw that the singer was drenched in sweat, probably because the outdoor wedding was moved indoors due to drizzle.

Although I didn’t know the title or lyrics of the song, which was popular among young people these days, I clapped along to the rhythm. Among about 300 guests, I was the only one doing so. I lifted my back off the chair and slightly shook my shoulders in response. After finishing the song, the singer came up to me and publicly said, "Thank you. This is the first time someone matched my rhythm with applause," and bowed. At that moment, other guests also responded with applause.

The nephews present gave me a thumbs-up and were pleased. Later, I looked up the singer and found out he was a member of the group 'December' and well-known among that generation. It was a memorable experience.

A sudden thought came to me: at a wedding, what could be a greater form of celebration than clapping when the guests are supposed to clap?

A similar event happened last week. At a family wedding in Daegu, during the congratulatory song segment, a friend of the groom started dancing in casual clothes to an H.O.T. song. Soon, the groom joined wearing black sunglasses, continuing as a duet. Many people clapped along. This time, even the bride danced in her dress. Seeing everyone’s joyful expressions, I took snapshots and sent them as mementos.

Adults from the Baby Boomer generation and older often feel awkward praising or mingling with their subordinates or children. They know very well from education and reading that communication and consideration are necessary. However, they tend to overcomplicate it. Cognitive scientists advise first connecting emotionally, then using logic or reason, rather than nagging.

When you see young people doing something, clap along, cheer, and high-five with them. It might feel awkward, but just give it a try. After trying once or twice, it’s not that difficult.

In February, I participated in a camp event with about 100 trainees from our GYBM program in Sapa, Vietnam. During the event, I was put on stage, music was played, and I was told to dance, so I let loose with freestyle dancing and made a fool of myself. Thanks to that, I had a great time throughout the period. I also posted it on Facebook as a keepsake.

Park Chang-wook, CEO of Korea Knowledge Leader Association (Secretary General of Daewoo World Management Research Association)

◆ What is 'Nudge Leadership'?

- 'Nudge Leadership' is not about coercive or directive methods but about leading organizational or personal change through small and gentle interventions or motivation. It also involves improving human relationships through one’s own small changes and transforming into a person others want to follow. Ultimately, it breathes creativity and passion into organizations or relationships, creating new value and happiness.