[W Forum] In the Midst of Social Distancing... Warm Online Communication

Park Ran, CEO of DongA TV. / Photo by Hyunmin Kim kimhyun81@

From the moment we open our eyes in the morning, we speak either alone or with someone else. Thoughts and feelings are combined into words and expressed outwardly in the form of speech. Words that come out into the world only have meaning if there is someone to listen. The speaker’s words become more persuasive when the listener’s various circumstances are taken into account.

The words combined in speech are not always fully understood or conveyed by the listener. I have often seen cases where different interpretations of what I say cause misunderstandings. This makes me think that to communicate accurately, one must choose words appropriate to the listener’s situation.

It is necessary to check at least once whether the message is being understood correctly by the other person. Leaving the listener to interpret on their own often leads to difficult situations for both parties. I would like to give an example of an incident that occurred while a team leader was coordinating work with a team member in one department.

The team member had applied for a day off the next day and verbally handed over the work completed up to that day to the team leader. "Team leader, I have uploaded the Excel file I prepared. You can work with that file tomorrow." A few days later, a problem occurred.

The team leader worked using a previous version of the final file uploaded by the team member, which caused an error in the program. Later, the team leader and the team member argued, each blaming the other. The office quickly filled with negative, forceful, and resentful words.

When Manager A asked, "What is the problem?" the team leader replied, "Well, it’s all my fault. As the team leader, this happened due to a lack of communication, so it’s all my fault," and began to explain. Manager B asked the team member, "Can you explain the situation?" and the team member described the circumstances.

Manager B summarized to the team member, "Even though you reported verbally, if you had organized and sent the work details once more by email or text, this mistake could have been prevented." To the team leader, Manager B said, "The team member reported verbally, and you confirmed the contents, yet you worked with a different file and did not realize the mistake until another department found it. This is a fault."

"I think your attitude and behavior of shifting responsibility to the team member rather than acknowledging your own mistake, along with your high-handed manner, are problematic," Manager B added. Suddenly, the team leader said, "I feel nauseous, so I’m going out to vomit," and left the meeting room, leaving the team member and the two managers very embarrassed.

Even if one’s condition is poor and they must leave, it is rare to hear someone say so directly, "I’m going out to vomit because I feel nauseous." As an adult, choosing words that may cause discomfort or misunderstanding to others and then leaving is inappropriate.

Whether among family members or colleagues at work, in various places and positions, there is no need to say things that upset others or make oneself look negative. We have many wise, beautiful, and kind words available. Even if it is a little uncomfortable for me, choosing words that reduce the possibility of misunderstanding is a way of showing consideration for others.

These days, with social distancing due to the novel coronavirus infection (COVID-19), offline gatherings have decreased, while online communication through social networking services (SNS) has become active. Instead of keeping your warm feelings inside, why not share them online? Perhaps they will come back to comfort you and lead you to happier times.