[Joseonhee's Frame] Photos Saved My Life

In 2017, Lonely Tree Namibia Dead Vlei. I was happy to share a moment of a thousand years of time together. (Photo by Joa Joa Studio)

Looking at the ancient tree in Namibia's Dead Vlei that has been dead for a thousand years yet stands steadfast without disappearing, I thought. Then, watching the stunningly beautiful colors of the dunes that change moment by moment according to the direction of the sun, I thought again. How fortunate am I? How happy it is to be able to stay for even 12 hours in this windless place, gazing at these lights through a thousand years of time?

In fact, almost all tours only allow you to stay there for about 30 minutes. Having dreamed for a long time of coming here, I felt so unfair and frustrated that I had to stay only 30 minutes! The answer from the authorities was that to stay longer, you must apply months in advance.

However, my twenty years of experience as a photographer did not let me simply accept that. Through persistent and exhausting location arrangements that turned the impossible into possible, with extra payments upon extra payments?almost an absurd amount of black money exchanged here?I finally earned the right to stay there for about 12 hours. At noon, when the sun is directly overhead and there is not even a shadow to hide in?a time that could be hell for some?I was very, very happy. That place, with not a breath of wind or a single small insect flying around, transported me to a completely different time and sense. Into the time of relativity theory, into the space of Interstellar. Into a thousand years of time, into the world of light...

"I must book the Namibia National Park photographer tour that embraces Dead Vlei."

Just this thought made my blood boil and my breath catch. Yes, photography made me a Homo Viator. A wanderer, a person whose time on the road is the most 'heart-pounding.' Even after 25 years as a photographer, I still dream of a wandering life, so perhaps my 'wanderer gene' made me a photographer...

Photography made me a 'person who does not stay put,' and somewhat unhappy but a 'person who contemplates.' It prevented me from living life pushed along by circumstances. In other words, it made me a Homo Viator. When I live as a mother, daughter, wife, and suddenly feel that this life is not mine, I dream of traveling through the space of Interstellar. Like when I wandered the Wadi Rum desert in Jordan and gazed at the thousand-year-dead tree in the silence of Namibia's Dead Vlei.

In that place, where only the sound of my footsteps could be heard, evoking the sun of Camus' The Stranger, I was grateful. Grateful to the god who gave me photography, and at the sound of the shutter breaking the silence, I thought again.

That pushing away the life of settling down and living responsibly might be a restless spirit. It might have started from a naive acceptance of a remark someone threw at me. But it is certain that I am closer to a nomadic species than one who settles and cultivates land. If I did not have photography, how much more desolate would my life have been? There is no denying that the medium of photography, which allows me to set out with just a small backpack and a point-and-shoot camera, saved my life.

My blood still boils, and I cannot fully fulfill my role as a mother to my middle school son. Moreover, I am not a warm daughter to my mother, who is close to eighty. Nevertheless, I always dream of departure. Whether it is travel or a photography assignment, I love leaving somewhere, returning, and the times and thoughts accumulated on the road. On the bus, on the plane, many thoughts come and go over my walking shoes. Sometimes those thoughts stay and are left as writing, becoming my true thoughts.

So I am still traveling now...

Jo Sunhee, Photographer / Associate Professor, Department of Photography and Imaging, Kyungil University