[SideB] "Why is having a child without marriage a problem?" Interview with Choi Hyung-sook, Head of Single Mothers' Association

A Proud Minority, A Better World for the Marginalized

"Single Mothers, A Problem for All of Us"
Became Pregnant at 34 and Raised a Child Alone
Unable to See Family Until Child Was 7

Support Benefits Require Minimum Living Expenses for Two
Actually Hinders Independence... Support Restrictions Must Be Removed

Choi Hyung-sook speaking at the opening ceremony of the single mothers' community center 'Neulbom' (Photo by Intri)

[Asia Economy Reporter Hyunju Lee] "The start is not equal. When you get pregnant, you have to wear a maternity belt, and because you're afraid of people's gazes, you have to give everything up and move away. People say things like, 'How can you raise a child without a father?' or 'Why would a student have a baby?' They say it so easily, but you can have a child without marriage, and you can get pregnant. Single mothers are simply a problem for all of us. It's not an issue of a specific group or class. One day, suddenly, your sibling or someone around you could become a single mother or single father."

Choi Hyung-sook (50), with her neat bob haircut and round glasses, is the representative of the single mother organization 'In Tree' and a mother raising a son in the third year of middle school. Her smile, which opens the hearts of even strangers, proved that the hardships she endured have instead become happiness. We met Choi at the single mother community center Neulbom in Gwonnong-dong, Jongno-gu, Seoul.

"I got pregnant late at 34 and entered a facility to give birth. No one supported me giving birth."

In 2005, Choi gave birth to her son Junseo alone. As the youngest daughter who was the darling of the family, she had to say goodbye to her previous life as soon as she got pregnant. She said, "People around me who had clearly seen me dating the child's father asked why I was having a child with someone I had broken up with, and what fault did that man have? It broke my heart. My life was completely changing, but they only asked when I was going to have an abortion."

The decisive reason she went to the facility was that her close junior colleagues at work brought up abortion again during her pregnancy. Angry, Choi threw a glass cup at her junior in a fit of rage. "Fortunately, the junior wasn't hit (laughs), but I thought I was going to die like this, so I grabbed just one bag and went to the facility. Of course, I couldn't tell my family." Choi did not see her family until her child was seven years old.

Choi sent Junseo to an adoption agency and later took him back. She recalled, "I really lacked confidence. I thought there would be parents who could raise the child better than me." After it became known that she was a single mother, she had to close the beauty salon she was running.

Photo with activists (Provided by InTree)

Choi emphasized, "Whether the child is born to a single mother or anyone else, the government should raise them now." She said, "Our society tends to see single mothers not as people to accept and embrace but as a group that needs support. To qualify for housing benefits and such, you have to be in financial difficulty, but then true independence becomes difficult." To receive single-parent support benefits, one must earn below the minimum living expenses for a two-person household.

Choi helps single parents in situations like hers, especially showing special affection for teenage single mothers. She said she gains strength when she sees mothers who have passed the university entrance exam and become brighter after giving birth. "When a college student mom said she only ate triangle kimbap and went to school, it broke my heart. She said if she saved on her own meals, she could buy a day's worth of milk for her baby..." Her voice trembled at the end.

When the argument arises that expanding support for single mothers could ironically encourage out-of-wedlock births, Choi raised her voice. She said, "Raising a child is so hard, how can people say that? The world now knows that people don't have babies just because they get more money." She reflected on the recent increase in single mother support policies due to the declining birthrate as truly ironic.

Teenage single mothers’ dedication to studying is touching and admirable
Increase in single mother policies due to declining birthrate is paradoxical
Son who went through puberty had a hard time but is growing well
Junseo lives with his stepfather and the three of them together in one house

If you search Choi's name on a portal site, her profile appears as 'movie actress.' This is because her son 'Choi Junseo' appeared with her in the documentary film 'Miss Mama.' Made in 2012, the film tells the stories of single mothers. She said, "Because of the film, my son's friends all know that I am a single mother," and added, "My son had a difficult time going through puberty, but he is growing well."

Six years ago, Choi and Junseo gained a new husband and father. When Junseo was about 10 years old, Choi's boyfriend promised marriage, and they have been living together since. Although they live in the same house, they have not registered their marriage, so Choi is still unmarried. She said, "Usually, people get married, get pregnant, and have a child, but I had a child alone and married a man 10 years younger than my 10-year-old child," and laughed, "I thought things would change if I got married, but nothing changed except having one more person to discuss things with."

A scene from the trailer of the movie 'Miss Mama,' featuring his son Junseo (7 years old at the time) and Ms. Choi together (Source=Naver Movies)