"'Doryeonnim' and 'Agassi' - Am I the Only One Uncomfortable?" What Do You Think About Unequal Family Titles?

Women 93.6% Say "Let's Change Titles Like Doryeonnim, Seobangnim, Agassi"
Criticism of Expressions That Only Elevate Men's Family Side
Experts Recommend Using Names or Nicknames Instead of Titles

The photo is unrelated to specific expressions in the article. Photo by Yonhap News.

[Asia Economy Reporter Heo Midam] "'The term 'doryeonnim' itself is uncomfortable"

Kim (30), who has been married for one year, said, "My husband's younger brother is a late-born child, so he is much younger than my husband. Isn't it strange to call my husband's younger brother, who is even younger than me, 'doryeonnim'?"

She added, "When I talk to my husband's younger brother, I deliberately avoid using the term 'doryeonnim.' I can't keep leaving out the title in conversation, so I'm 고민중 (thinking about) what to do."

As the Lunar New Year holiday approaches, more people are feeling stressed over family titles. They point out that family titles emphasizing male superiority do not fit reality. Experts advise using names and nicknames rather than titles.

Many people have expressed concerns about family titles. According to a 2018 survey by the Anti-Corruption and Civil Rights Commission and the National Institute of the Korean Language on "Improving everyday titles," 86.8% of the public responded that titles used to address the husband's younger siblings (doryeonnim, seobangnim, agassi) should be changed. Especially among female respondents, 93.6% supported changing them.

They point out the gender discrimination issue in titles where the husband's younger siblings are elevated with terms like 'doryeonnim' or 'agassi,' while the wife's younger siblings are called 'cheonam' or 'cheje,' which are lower in status.

Also, the husband's family is respectfully called 'sidaek' (in-laws' house), while the wife's family is referred to as 'cheoga' (wife's family), which is considered a problem.

A (30), who has been married for one year, said, "I can't understand titles like 'doryeonnim' and 'seobangnim.' Rather, these titles make relationships more awkward." She added, "I don't understand the custom of only elevating the husband's family. As times change, titles should change too."

[Image source=Yonhap News]

As a result, voices calling for the improvement of gender-discriminatory titles are emerging. In a 2017 survey by the National Institute of the Korean Language, when asked, "If you were to use a different term instead of 'doryeonnim' or 'agassi,' what would be better?" 33.8% responded with "Let's call by names." Also, many suggested adding honorifics like 'Mr./Ms. ○○' instead of simply using names, as a way to show mutual respect.

B (29), an office worker married for three years, said, "I think calling by names is best. At first, we used titles, but then my husband suggested calling by names first, so we call relatives by their names. Since then, the distance has narrowed, and we've become much closer."

Some argue that family titles carry unique traditions and should not be changed lightly. One netizen said, "My in-laws take titles very seriously, so I have no choice but to use respectful titles like 'doryeonnim' and 'agassi.' Even though I find the titles strange, I can't do anything about it, so I get stressed every time I meet my in-laws."

[Image source=Yonhap News]

Experts recommend using names and nicknames rather than titles. Professor Lee Taekgwang of Kyung Hee University's Department of Global Communication said on CBS Radio's 'Sisa Jaki Jung Gwanyong Imnida,' "There are gender-discriminatory aspects in family titles. Generally, the wife's family is treated lower. While the husband's side uses honorifics, the wife's side is spoken to with lower terms, which is a strange custom."

He continued, "This custom should obviously be improved. If one side is treated with disrespect, a power structure is created and reinforced. This causes many problems." Professor Lee recommended calling by names and nicknames as the best approach rather than using titles.